Last Lil Wayne related post of the week (I promise)

Let's file this under 'Questionable Parenting'. Reportedly, Lil Wayne's daughter Reginae (also known as "Baby Carter") has teamed up with T.I.'s daughter Zonnique (known as "Star") to form the group 'OMG Girlz'. They have a song, titled 'Ain't Nobody', on their myspace here, and will almost certainly feature guest spots from their respective daddies, which is the only reason I'm remotely interested in this story. I can only hope that Reginae doesn't have her fathers flair for vulgarity and poo references. Wait that's only half true. I love the poo verses.

It's been a slow news week, I've been sickly, and one can't blog whilst driving back and forth to New Hampshire. This leaves precious little time for the blog posts you've all come to admire and expect. I'll promise to be a bit more thorough in the coming days. In the meantime, here are a couple cool videos.

Jimmy Fallon covering Neil Young covering Will Smith



Shaolin Monk balances on 2 fingers


Actual quote from the President's 'Educate to Innovate' speech earlier this week. Obama's the coolest:

For Relaxing Times...

No Ceilings/The Carter Documentary

Lil' Wayne is certainly making the most of his time before he is sentenced to jail in February. The past month has seen him release his No Ceilings mixtape (for free online) and The Carter Documentary, a film that chronicles his life in 2008, before and after the release of his critically-acclaimed smash The Carter III. Both of these feature Wayne in rare form, and offer fleeting glimpses into the life of a music icon and the pressure that goes hand-in-hand with fame.

As I've said before, Mixtapes arguably contain Lil Wayne at his creative peak, unadulterated by hooks and musical interludes. He simply borrows a great beat and unleashes himself upon it, and more often than not, eclipses the source material. No Ceilings is no exception.

Is there anyone else who can unflinchingly rap about Windows Vista, Michael Phelps, Cambridge, pet canaries and Alvin and the Chipmunks and still sound menacing? Lil Wayne does all of this on No Ceilings before he even INTRODUCES the mixtape itself. The rest of the mixtape is equally enlightened, as Wayne continues to find new euphemisms for shit and new ways to toot his own horn. As he has said before, he is not like us, he is a martian. I'm starting to believe him.

His only missteps on the album come when he attempts to inject some of his young money crew into the mixtape. While they rap admirably, they sound lazy and uninspired when sandwiched between Weezy's verses. But then again, who wouldn't. The entire mixtape is a bittersweet affair, as one can't help but feel a twinge of sadness when they realize the brilliant Wayne will spend most of his next year incarcerated.

The Carter documentary is a similarly bittersweet project, and among other things, it makes me downright frightened to envision Wayne in jail, stripped of the two things that give him purpose; syrup and a microphone.  While it has been said before, the documentary shows the massive role that drug-use and recording play in his life. He is rarely filmed without a styrofoam cup of syrup or more than 5 feet away from the microphone. Often sipping from the cup between verses, his eyes completely glassed over but his mouth continuing to rhyme like a man possessed. His addiction is even harder to watch when it follows interviews with his 10 year old daughter and his manager. How much his daughter understands is debatable, but his manager has the unmistakable look of a man defeated, as he details other times he's tried to help Wayne kick the habit. When you are one of the most powerful men in the world, you don't hear the word NO. Plain and simple.

The documentary has the voyeuristic quality of an episode of Intervention, but without the rehab and accountability. Just the slow, steady spiral of a man surrounded by loved ones, but wholly alone. I couldn't help but feel a bit personally responsible for the situation he now finds himself in. The public is sustaining his lifestyle, glorifying it, eating up every bit of it. We are completely willing to look the other way so long as he continues to put out new material.

I have no doubt that Wayne's substance abuse will result in his premature death within the next 5 years if he doesn't get clean soon. Who knows, maybe prison is the best thing that could happen to him at this point in his life, forcing him to face his demons and put his life in perspective. The demons that come with fame are many, and they can not be conquered alone. Until Lil Wayne stops self-medicating himself, they will only continue to grow. Just ask Kurt Cobain.

ANTICHRIST

Antichrist, where do I begin? If you travel in film circles, you've undoubtedly heard of Lars von Trier's 2009 film starring Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainesbourg as grieving parents struggling to come to terms with the death of their son. Since premiering at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year, the word of mouth, for better or worse, for this film has been all-encompassing. This buzz has less to do with the themes of the film and more to do with its INSANE 3rd act that throws all humanity to the wind.

Let's first address the film on its artistic merits. It is impeccably shot, melding super slo-mo scenes and black and white clips to establish an eerie grace and beauty in otherwise horrific scenes. The use of sound in this film is also exceptional, using something as simple as acorns rolling down a rooftop or a steady rain to elicit the paranoia and anxiety that one can feel in an unfamiliar, exposed environment.

The story of the film is simple. A couple loses their son in a terrible accident that they may or may not have been able to stop. The grief-stricken wife is nurtured by her psychiatrist husband who dismisses all medical treatment or mourning, instead forcing her to confront her fear of the woods at a time when she is at her most emotionally vulnerable. She resists, and slowly spirals into savage insanity. Dafoe's character is emotionless and sterile, treating his wife like a patient and addressing her as such and never allowing himself to engage in the grieving process with his wife. He pressures his wife to embrace aspects of nature she fears, while at the same time resisting her own. Needless to say, they come out anyway.

This is the overarching theme of this film. The pitfalls that arise from trying to harness and conquer nature, both tangible and within yourself. Several scenes depict terrifying events that occur in nature thousands of times a day, and the characters are aghast. Baby birds preyed upon by hawks, a partially-birthed stillborn fawn, a fox eating itself. All of these images underscore the emotionless rule of nature. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, prey or be preyed upon. The characters project emotion and despair upon a world that knows none, and are consumed by it to equal and opposite measures. By rebuffing and challenging nature, the characters are denying a part of themselves. While this may be possible in a civilized society, this is foolhardy behavior to ascribe to a place in which only chaos reigns.

There are certainly more complex biblical, sexual, psychological themes here, but these are underdeveloped and in large part supplements to the thematic core of the film.

Sweet Indie Band of the Week: Yeasayer

I know Yeasayer has been around a couple years, but I haven't really given them the time of day until I heard their newest diddy 'Ambling Alp' on XM a few weeks ago. Starting like a standard Animal Collective jam with woodblocks and splashes, the song lurches into a tribal drumbeat and a spacey guitar parts before a deliciously poppy verse and chorus rises, challenging the listener to "stick up for yourself son, never mind what anybody else does". It sounds like syrupy mush, but it's the unique chaos of the production that really sets it apart from other Top 40 tripe. It even has a saxophone breakdown for chrissakes. If this is what we can expect from Yeasayer's sophomore album Odd Blood, Animal Collective may have some psychedelic competition. Give it a listen.


 

Bob Dylan Gets Festive

When you're arguably the greatest songwriter of your generation, you're allowed a few artistic indulgences. More often than not, that usually means a Christmas album. Even the immortal Bob Dylan is not immune.

Christmas in the Heart is Bob Dylan's holiday gift to us all, featuring covers of Silver Bells, Do You Hear What I Hear? and Winter Wonderland, among others. Those who dismiss this as some sort of underhanded moneygrab be damned, as the proceeds benefit Feeding America, a hunger-relief charity.

To promote this album, Dylan has released a music video for the track "Must Be Santa" that features a holiday party and a teleporting, seemingly sedated/drunk Bob rabble rousing until the whole thing gets a little out of hand.

Bob Dylan's gravely growl may not seem the ideal vehicle for spreading Christmas cheer, and I'm not even going to speculate on who thought the world was clamoring to hear Bob Dylan eviscerate Little Drummer Boy. I'm going to simply assume this is Bob having a little fun in his old age and excusing it by donating the proceeds to charity. Fine by me.

What Is Avatar and why so much hub-bub?

Avatar (Not to the confused with The Last Airbender, sorry SS) is an upcoming science fiction film directed by James Cameron (Terminator, Titanic) which promises to revolutionize the medium of film as we know it. The story involves a paralyzed marine who regains use of his legs by becoming an Avatar on another planet populated by the Na'vi (the blue things seen below).

As the story progresses, the Marine falls in love with one of the aliens and is understandably conflicted when Earth attacks this planet. Mixing part CGI, part Live-action and part Motion Capture, Cameron developed several groundbreaking technologies to put this story to film. If that weren't enough, the film will be released in 3D using the new Fusion digital 3D system, developed by Cameron himself. Unsurprisingly, this new technology does not come cheap. A recent article claimed that it's total budget was almost $500 million dollars, a serious amount of cash to pony up for an alien love story, but considering the fact that Titanic took in almost 2 billion dollars worldwide, I suppose there are riskier ways to invest $500,000,000.

Even though this film features no A-list actors and has a plot line that sounds like a video game, the buzz has been deafening since Cameron premiered 15 minutes of the film to the rabid masses at Comic-Con in July. Apparently what transpired on the screen was so awe-inspiring that some critics ranked these mere 15 minutes amongst their top 100 films of the decade. Many called it "the future", likening it to the first Technicolor film. Others claimed that it washed over them like a drug, stimulating parts of the brain that dormant during traditional films (seriously).

These facts certainly point to something special, but I've already expressed my skepticism regarding motion-capture technology in film and I'm having a hard time believing that a 3 hour Sci-Fi-Motion-Capture-Alien-Romance-Action-Epic will make a profit, let alone change film forever.

Avatar is released December 18th, 2009.

Comedy

Inspired by Newsweek's list of 12 UNFUNNY Comedians, I'm going to try and offer a few talented comedians people can turn to when they are tempted by the open arms of a Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham. I'll admit that comedy is a very subjective beast, and I have no doubt that it is supremely difficult to both relate to people and do so in a unique way. Unfortunately, the aforementioned comedians only do one, or none. Here are some of my favorite comedians:

Paul F. Tompkins - Flat-out hilarious. Great delivery, great use of sarcasm. Talks about the most mundane things and makes them a complete riot.

Jokes.com
Paul F. Tompkins - Phone Lover
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Patton Oswalt- While certainly not accessible (or PC), he has unparalleled energy an a self-deprecating style that keeps his cynicism in check.

Jokes.com
Patton Oswalt - Liquor Ads
comedians.comedycentral.com
Read Patton Oswalt's biography Watch Patton Live at the New York Comedy Festival Find more from this comedian in the Shop.

Zach Galfianakis- His casual, deadpan delivery was funny way before The Hangover and is still funny now.

Jokes.com
Zach Galifianakis - Before the Hangover
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Demetri Martin- While some of his songs are hit or miss, his one liners and notepad jokes are a incredible.

Demetri Martin - Rock, Paper, Scissors

www.comedycentral.com

Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Jim Gaffigan- If you don't laugh watching this Hot Pocket bit, you've probably never had a Hot Pocket. HOT POCKET!

Jokes.com
Jim Gaffigan - Hot Pocket!
comedians.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Jerry Seinfeld- The MASTER of the Comedic Domain. I've heard he's still performing new material, but his 'I'm Telling You For The Last Time' DVD is probably the best stand-up performance I've ever seen.

Dave Chappelle- Another brilliant, familiar name. While he has been funny on TV and in Movies, he's really at the top of his game with a microphone.

Pirate Radio....errr....The Boat That Rocked....errr.....Whatever

In The Boat That Rocked (hereby known by its American title Pirate Radio, don't get me started on that), a rogue group of radio DJs takes to the high seas to broadcast Rock and Roll to the UK in the 1960's, as it was illegal to do so on land. While it is said to be based on a true story, the creative liberties that Director Richard Curtis (Love Actually) takes with the story make it a far cry from a faithful retelling. Personally, I don't particularly care if the story is true or not, so long as it keeps me entertained. That is where the seas get a bit choppy.

Let's start with the good. The cast Curtis has assembled here is fantastic and includes Kenneth Branagh, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy and that guy from Shaun of the Dead (not Shaun) to name a few. They do well with what they are given, Branagh and Nighy especially. The soundtrack is great as well, using tracks from The Who, The Kinks and The Rolling Stones to great effect throughout the film, mostly in the form of montages. The real problem with this little movie stems from it's story.

I had read that Curtis was forced to trim 20 minutes off the film and slap a "Based on a True Story" sticker on the poster to make the story more appealing for American audiences. I'm here to tell you that he shouldn't have stopped at 20 minutes. At just a hair over 2 hours, the film feels painstakingly long. It takes less than half an hour for the major characters to be introduced and for the conflicts to be established, leaving the remaining 90 minutes to be spent chronicling women that are lured upon the boat and assorted displays of machismo by the DJs. Some of theses scenes work and elicit a chuckle, but none of them add to the overarching story in any way, shape or form. Comic relief is well and good, but when the film dances between music montages, boat parties and the stoic Branagh on the mainland over and over again, it grows stale quickly.

Ensemble pieces like this work best when everyone involved brings something unique to the table, otherwise none of the characters feel fully realized. While it's clear that Curtis attempts to do this, (one guy can't swim, another guy is dumb, etc) they all feel derivative and forgettable. With so many characters to satisfy there is also the risk of trying TOO hard, getting the story convoluted in a slew of sub-plots that distract from the real story. Also contained within this Good vs Evil tale is a coming-of-age story for a boy who never knew his father (Gee, I wonder if he'll find him), a tug-of-war between the two head DJ's (culminating in a lame climbing contest) and of course roughly 93 love stories. Curtis diligently skips back to the main conflict every few minutes, but these transitions feel more and more jarring as the other subplots attempt to take root.

This film, like the ship, has a lot of things going for it from afar: a great cast, an intriguing story, and a bitching soundtrack. Sadly, it takes on water from the start and even the capable hands of Curtis cannot keep her afloat. The only solution to a sinking ship is to ditch the dead weight and man the lifeboats. Instead, Curtis chooses to go down with the ship.

Cormac McCarthy

I know I don't usually address the written word in this blog, but I make exceptions for people like Cormac McCarthy. If you don't know Mr. McCarthy, he is the author of Blood Meridian, All The Pretty Horses and No Country For Old Men, among others. His most recent book, 2007's The Road has been adapted for the screen by director John Hillcoat (The Proposition) and is to be released November 25th. McCarthy is an incredible, minimalist writer who professes no interest in granting interviews or signing copies of his work.  Today's Wall Street Journal features an article that essentially eavesdrops on a conversation that John Hillcoat, Cormac McCarthy and the articles author John Jurgenson had on a Texas afternoon a few weeks ago. 


Something about aging authors makes them a fountain of brilliant, succinct advice that they deliver in a very impersonal way, as if emotions are something you grow out of. That's not to say they are curmudgeonly, but they have no interest in waxing poetic about things that are important to them. They just are. 

One example of this is a from recent interview with Maurice Sendak about the adaptation of his book Where The Wild Things Are: 


Reporter: "What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary?"


Sendak: "I would tell them to go to hell. That's a question I will not tolerate."


Reporter: "Because kids can handle it?"


Sendak: "If they can't handle it, go home. Or wet your pants. Do whatever you like. But it's not a question that can be answered."


News outlets were up in arms with his response, but he is doing nothing but answering the question brusquely, and sparing everyone else the BS. Cormac McCarthy is the same way, though perhaps a bit more tender.


In the wide-ranging interview in the WSJ, McCarthy addresses his next book, the apocalypse, Greek tragedies, his young son, and his interest in theoretical science. I highly recommend it if you are interested in Cormac McCarthy or simply getting inside a great writer's head. The life-lessons that he casually dispenses in it really make you re-evaluate the nature of good and evil and what's truly important. Check it out here.

Sweet Indie Band of the Week: Fanfarlo

I apologize in advance, but this blog post is going to have to be uncharacteristically terse due to extenuating circumstances (Comcast internet that makes me long for dial-up).

Fanfarlo is a London-based band who love their instruments. Their wikipedia page lists violion, mandolin, trumpet, sax, keys, accordion, SAW and GLOCK among their repertoire. Having not been exposed to the smooth stylings of the saw and the glock previously, I can only assume that they are classical instruments and not their traditional forms. This hot mess of a resume makes for gypsy, carnival music that sound virtually indistinguishable from the band Beirut. Which is great, because I LOVE Beirut. I've been told that the rest of their album invites comparisons to The Arcade Fire as well, which has me chomping at the bit to get my hands on it. In the interim, here's their video for The Walls Are Coming Down off their debut album Reservoir.

fanfarlo - the walls are coming down
Uploaded by 13melek. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Wale:Attention Deficit

After releasing 2 fantastic mixtapes (2007's 100 Miles and Running and 2008's The Mixtape About Nothing) and the mixed bag of 2009's Back to the Feature Mixtape, Wale is finally releasing his formal debut album, entitled Attention Deficit. Featuring collaborations with Bun B, Gucci Mane, Pharrel and even Lady Gaga herself, Attention Deficit hopes to simultaneously cement Wale's reputation as an elite underground artist and seamlessly inject him into the pop culture vernacular. Unfortunately, the record feels like Wale forcefully trying to do the latter, rather than allowing his talent to speak for itself.

Several rappers have made careers solely out of tooting their own horn (see LIL WAYNE) and have enough analogies and metaphors backlogged to never need to change the formula. Wale is at his best when he stops worrying about his perception and what is "real" and simply offers engaging wordplay. This is what made 100 Miles and Running and The Mixtape About Nothing so successful. Even though the songs featured a healthy dose of ego, it was balanced with a levity that is missing on Attention Deficit. Maybe that is the culture of mixtapes, and it's over my head, but mixtape's sound infinitely more fun than albums. Relieved of the pressure of coming up with a catchy beat or stuffing in guest verses, Mixtapes allow artists to showcase themselves and be judged solely on their lyrics, for better or worse. Because mixtapes are such a new phenomenon, it will be interesting to see if artists that have enjoyed unprecedented mixtape success (see Wale, Drake, Gucci Mane) are able to translate it into mainstream fame.

Attention Deficit starts promisingly enough with the shimmering Triumph and the jazzy Mirrors, but it isn't long before R&B breakdowns and precious production begins to weigh the record down. While the subject matter on tracks like 90210 (eating disorders) and Shades (dark skinned vs light skinned African Americans) is engaging, they come off sounding like Top 40 ballads, without a single memorable Wale verse. Chillin ft. Lady Gaga offers a refreshing change of pace before the album takes a complete nosedive into the finish line, degrading into Wale sulking over a nameless R&B hook. Wale is at his best when he lets go of his apprehension and has fun, and for whatever reason (pressure? too many guest spots? crappy beats?), this is sorely missing on Attention Deficit. In the meantime, here is W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E from 100 Miles and Running.

Happy Chairsday (Thursday)

Lil Wayne As An Educational Tool

After hearing that my friend CM had worked a Lil Wayne song into a probability Powerpoint Slide, I couldn't help but wonder if Mr. Carter had any other useful nuggets of information to educate our youth through song. As it turns out, there is a WEALTH of valuable lessons to be found in Wayne's discography, and I will share them with you henceforth:

The Alphabet

the hater's on their face and in their ass is a shoe,
faster than you,
badder than you,
radder than you, etcetera
I told you I get paid by the letter like
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY ZZ TOP, yes he rock

Counting

1,2,3 way
4 4 makes 8
9 times out of 10
It's 11 or a 12 gauge
Friday the 13th
That's the day hell raise
But y'all too weak
Like 14 days

Safe Sex

Safe sex is great sex
Better wear a latex
Cause you dont want that late text
That, "I think I'm late" text

Medicine

Wait, as I put the light down his throat,
His blood starting to flow,
His lungs starting to grow
This one's starting to show, strong signs of life.
Where's the stitches? Here's the knife.
Smack his face, his eyes open.
I reply with a nice,
"Welcome back Hip Hop, I saved your life." 

Astronomy
I like my tugs baggy and my turf clean.

Check my pattern scheme, 
I probably have on rocks from the moon and Saturn's ring.

French
I'm probably on a boat feeding a bitch grapes, and crepes.

By the way thats french pancakes.
Da palon france, Tre bien, cason a dor, chor le bien.

Business (Supply & Demand)

And we sell 'em, I know you smell 'em
So if you want it, you could just yell it
Be in the morning at your tele,
Whole keys go for twenty, 

half a key go for eleven, 

after me there will be nothing,

Physics

puttin’ it down like gravitys pullin’
puttin’ it down like gravitys pullin’
puttin’ it down like gravitys pullin’ me to the ground

Plea Bargains

And I'll take probation
I dont want that T.I and Vick vacation 

Seasons
Man, I got Summer hating on me cause I'm hotter than the sun

Got Spring hating on me cause I ain't never sprung
Winter hating on me cause I'm colder than ya'll
And I will never, I will never, I will never Fall

US Presidents
And the bank is here

Lincoln's here, Grants is here
Jackson's here, Franklin's here 

Military Strategy

Salute to all the veterans
And girl your love's like a nuclear weapon
I'm a five star, purple hearter, purple sparker, camouflage
Follow my every command and order
You can just call me Captain Carter
So let the missiles rain on your parade
Cause my love is a soldier
and my heart is a grenade, kabloom
I'll bomb any platoon, just call me World War tune




Who'd've thought that buried betwixt lyrics of women and drugs could lay such valuable information? If only I had a mentor like Weezy when I was a whipper-snapper I could have been something special. 

Go Forth

COME my tan-faced children,

Follow well in order, get your weapons ready,

Have you your pistols? have you your sharp-edged axes?

Pioneers! O pioneers!

For we cannot tarry here,

We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger,

We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend,

Pioneers! O pioneers!

O you youths, Western youths,

So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship,

Plain I see you Western youths, see you tramping with the foremost,

Pioneers! O pioneers!

We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world,

Fresh and strong the world we seize,

Pioneers! O pioneers!

Levi's has been hawking their jeans lately in a series of ads that pair 19th century Walt Whitman verses with images of youthful exuberance. Levi's has never shied away from using art and sex to sell their jeans, having contracted Brad Pitt, Spike Jonze and Michel Gondry to direct and star in their commercials over the years, but this ad campaign feels like a shift in philosophy.



Gone are the preening models, alt-rock soundtrack and sexual underpinnings, the antiquated staples of "edgy" advertising, instead replaced by a campfire and general frolicking. That's not to say there aren't troves of shirtless models, but overlaying a crackly, stirring recording over modern imagery allows it to elicit a feeling of empowerment and timelessness. This ad has feels like the modern day equivalent to the Kodak Carousel ad featured on Mad Men during the first season. Mesmerizing, nostalgic, universal.