On Repeat: Shine Blockas

I've been listening to this Big Boi track for nearly 2 months now, and I still can't get over how great it is. Off his upcoming solo release Sir Luscious Left Foot: Son of Chico Dusty, the song re-establishes Big Boi as a lyrical force to be reckoned with. A fantastic, complex beat that samples "I Miss You Baby" by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and a memorable verse from Gucci Mane don't hurt matters either. It is dense with different vocal flows and beats, careening from chorus to verse so quickly that they nearly overlap at times. The chorus is "Hey Ya" level catchy, and the subject matter promises to shoehorn "Don't block my shine shawty" into the awkward white person vernacular just like Hey Ya did with "Shake it like a Polaroid picture!".  

The Onion may be on to something here...

Maybe they will commute his sentence to return the favor. One can dream!

Review: Timbaland Presents: Shock Value II

Even the harshest critic would concede that Timbaland is a mastermind in the studio. While not a bold statement, it is nonetheless corroborated by his extensive resume of #1 hits, three of which appear on his "solo" release Shock Value from 2007. What made Shock Value such a unique album is the way that Timbaland employed artists that had been pigeonholed by their genre, bestowing upon them a new lease on life, provided they don't mind being blasted by every nightclub in the world.

Shock Value II = Shock Value I + Autotune. Depending on how that equation strikes you, Timbo's newest project will evoke thunderous groans or applause. The actual product is somewhere in-between. While an incredible talent, Timbaland certainly has his weaknesses. First, he is an abysmal rapper. This is clear from the first song "Carry Out" with Justin Timberlake, where the pair compare sex to fast food (blech) and inexplicably try rhyme "errors" with "areas". Handicapped by such an awful opening song, the album spends the rest of the first half trying to dig itself out of this hole. Miraculously, the rest of the songs on the first half of the album are surprisingly strong, mostly because Timbaland is resigned to chorus duty and "HEY!'s", allowing the songs to be admirably carried by the previously insufferable Jojo, Miley Cyrus and CHAD KROEGER of all people. If Timbaland is able to make a Chad Kroeger (of Nickelback, in case you weren't sure) song that doesn't elicit instant nausea/laughter, he truly is a genius. Most notably, songs like Lose Control, Morning After Dark and Can You Feel It? capture the energy and innovation of the original Shock Value. Sadly, Timbaland cannot help but mess with a good thing.

The precipitous descent into terrible starts with Undertow, a blatant ripoff of the song Apologize from his last album. Before you even have a chance to check the song title to make sure you're still listening to Shock Value II, Timbo dives into the ballad-rap travesty that is Timothy Where You Been. To call this song an embarassment is like calling a tornado a breeze. The song is mind-numbingly awful, and immediately followed by a third and FOURTH ballad. Whomever decided on the sequencing of the album, needs to find another line of work. In a last ditch effort, Timbaland attempts to perform CPR on himself on the last two tracks, but the damage is done. What started out with focus and a refreshing playfulness, has completely devolved into incomprehensible mush. Sad.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic Mr. Fox is an adaptation of Roald Dahl's 1970 book of the same name. While not my favorite Roald Dahl book (that honor belongs to The BFG), it features all of Dahl's trademarks in full bloom. While most of Dahl's work can certainly be classified as "children's books", they have an edge and a grime that brings to mind the similarly morbid Brothers Grimm fairy tales. Dahl paints vivid characters and settings with his words and does not shy away from showing the grotesque and the beautiful in equal measure. The Fantastic Mr. Fox is no exception. Wes Anderson's adaptation expounds on the original story in the same way that Spike Jonze was able to stretch Where The Wild Things Are; cleverly and tastefully.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is essentially a cat-and-mouse game between Mr. Fox and the farmers (Boggis, Bunce and Bean). Mr. Fox steals chickens, ducks and cider from the farmers, and the farmers resolve to find and destroy him, sparing no expense in the process. Mayhem and adventure ensue. Wes Anderson (the director of cult-classics Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums and most recently, The Darjeeling Limited) tells the story of a reformed Mr. Fox, resigned to a menial newspaper column after a close call in a heist 2 years ago (12 fox years). He struggles to keep his animal instincts in check, and ultimately finds himself sneaking out under the cover of darkness to indulge himself. Needless to say, the farmers notice.

Plot points aside, this film is unabashedly Wes Anderson, from the soundtrack that uses The Rolling Stones and the Beach Boys, to the obligatory cross-section tracking shots and the impeccable attention to detail. For better or worse, it's all here. Personally, I love it, but I can see how people can dismiss it as pretentious. What cannot be dismissed is the incredible stop-motion animation work on display here. Stop-motion animation is not a new medium by any means, but never before has it been imagined so vividly. From the fur of the animals, to the elaborate sets, everything is painstakingly perfect. I don't know why I am surprised, it's Wes Anderson. But still, it's quite a sight to behold.

While this is all well and good, art direction cannot push a plot forward and flesh out characters, and this is something that some of Anderson's recent films have suffered from. Not enough heart. Anderson smartly introduces universal existential themes to rationalize the behavior of Mr. Fox in the same way that Brad Bird did so effectively in The Incredibles in 2004. Both feature male characters leading an unfulfilled life, who ultimately put their entire family at risk by entertaining their fantasies. Both Bird and Anderson deal with these weighty themes beautifully, striking a balance between the dark morality of Tim Burton and the sickly-sweet lessons of Disney. The new medium also allows Anderson to infuse the film with some talents I didn't even know he had. Namely, his knack for physical comedy. The characters run, sneak around and get washed away in hilarious fashion. He also does some impressive things with facial expressions and mannerisms that are a challenge to incorporate into a stop-motion film. The voice work here is also perfect, featuring George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Willem Dafoe and Bill Murray. Also, I can't imagine a more petulant Ash than the one voiced by Jason Schwartzman.

Wes Anderson's imagination and affection for his work has never been in question but he has struggled to inspire the same sense of wonder and sentiment in his audience. In Fantastic Mr. Fox he finally succeeds, not because the characters are especially more likable or because he has toned down his style, but because the sides and the stakes are clear. Escape or die. There is no sense of double-crossing and adult pettiness that left such a bitter taste in your mouth during The Life Aquatic. That's not to say the characters are perfect (far from it), but their motivations are transparent, and there's a certain warmth in that.

As If You Needed Another Reason to Love Google

E-cards are cool and all, but there is something to be said for receiving tangible greeting cards via "snail mail". Google understands this, and are offering a free Holiday themed postcard (shipped free of charge also) as a gift to Gmail users. Simply personalize it and fill out the address field, and Google will do the rest. Easiest Grandma brownie points ever!! There are six different designs (I chose Rudolph) and a limit of one per user. Hurry and click here before they run out!

EDIT: All out! I warned you!

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger

In case this whole Tiger Woods fiasco/firestorm has raised more questions than answers for you, 1-Apple news of Taiwan has been considerate enough to piece together a dramatization of the events that happened the night Mr. Woods lost control of his Escalade. It's hilarious, and probably not far from the truth.

 

Take Away Show: Phoenix

If you've never heard of the Take Away Shows (also known as Concert A Emporter) on blogotheque.net, you are in for a treat. Director Vincent Moon beautifully films music acts performing as they tour through Paris (some Take Away Shows are in the US, but the majority are in Paris). By stripping down the bands instrumentation as much as possible, Moon allows the bands to perform in some very unique, confined places like bars, elevators, even inside cars. He has an adventurous camera that does a great job capturing the spontaneity of the shows,  focusing on the curious spectators and the scenery rather than simply holding the camera steady on the lead singer. This makes for some truly moving performances. Moon's most recent work features everyone's favorite French popstars Phoenix performing on the lawn of the Eiffel Tower, on top of a double-decker bus, and underneath a bridge. Really neat stuff. Check out the rest of the Take Away Shows when you have a chance, you won't be disappointed.

Phoenix - 1901

Phoenix - 1901 - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Phoenix - Lisztomania/One Time Too Many

Phoenix - Lizstomania / One time too many - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Phoenix - It's Never Been Like That

Phoenix - Long distance call - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Sad State of Affairs

Although I haven't been writing this blog for a long time, I've made a conscious effort to steer clear of broad social commentaries for two reasons. One, because I want this blog to be a source of levity and entertainment, and two, because I don't think it's my place to be casting wide swaths at things that I find obnoxious. I am going to make an exception today.

Since the dawn of reality television, regular people have spared no expense or amount of shame to secure themselves a moment in the spotlight in the hopes that it will springboard them to super-stardom, or at least another reality show. I have no aversions to the concept of celebrity for those who are genuinely talented and for whom paparazzi cameras and interviews are simply a means to an end. Those I am speaking of are people who offer nothing to society at large and treat every flashbulb and microphone like a rung on a ladder. To these people, the phrase "there's no such thing as bad publicity" is their lifeblood.

You have no doubt known people that fit this description at some point in your life. The man whose lofty aspirations dried up long ago and couldn't be bothered to work hard in the interim, the woman who was told she was pretty one too many times and began to use it as a tool to manipulate and extract what she wants from others. These people aren't inherently bad, they are a function of a society that allows and rewards people who behave this way. This situation has come to a head in recent weeks. Recently, as the ratings for reality television wane, the attention seeking brethren have been pushed to great depths to procure the fifteen minutes they are entitled to. While these publicity stunts have largely left the public aghast, they continue to serve their purpose.

In October, Americans were enamored with a young boy who appeared to be trapped in a homemade helium contraption hundreds of feet in the Colorado sky. 3 days later, the entire ordeal was uncovered as an elaborate scheme by an overzealous father to secure a reality TV show. Charges were filed and his reputation as a scientist has taken a hit, but the publicity well is far from dry and that's all that matters.

And just last week, a posh Virginian couple successfully "crashed" a White House state dinner, posing for pictures with members of President Obama's cabinet and even meeting Obama himself. As the story unfolds, this isn't the first time the couple has found themselves at parties they were not invited to. Coincidentally (or not), the couple also have reality TV aspirations. Despite the public/political outrage that followed, the couple are peddling their "story" to the highest bidder and have shown no amount of remorse or regret for breaching the highest levels of national security so they could hob-nob and make their friends jealous on facebook (seriously).

Maybe my vitriol for these people is misplaced and I should instead wag my finger at the media outlets who continually blur the line between news and sensationalism. Maybe we are all guilty for holding celebrity and all that it entails to such high esteem. Maybe I shouldn't write anything and allow the stories and the people responsible for them fade away into oblivion. All I know is that these people make Flavor of Love seem like an exercise in high art.

Review: BlakRoc

BlakRoc is a Hip-Hop Rock project featuring blues-rock duo The Black Keys and several prominent members of the Hip-Hop community including Mos Def, RZA, Ludacris, Q-Tip, Raekwon and even ODB (RIP). The project as a whole doesn't seem like a tremendous stretch as far as Rap/Rock collaborations go, and if the lead single "Ain't Nothin' Like You (Hoochie Coo)" was any indication, the venture promised to add up to more than the sum of its parts. Unfortunately, rather than use the circumstances to crank up the guitars and the wordplay, everyone involved sounds largely muzzled.

Firstly, gone are the face-melting guitar riffs Black Keys fans have come to expect. Most of the guitar parts are strangely drowned out and feel like an afterthought. I suppose this should be expected on an album where they guitars/drums are simply there to hold a beat, but I expected The Black Keys to be a bit more adventurous in this context. They sound sound positively reserved and sheepish.

Secondly, maybe I've been listening to too much Lil' Wayne (probably), but the hip-hop contingent at work here feels stifled. The burbling beats of The Black Keys force them to deliver their lines with a slow, bluesy cadence that makes the whole thing feel casual and tired. It's sad when the most confident, memorable verse on the first half of the album comes from ODB, since he recorded his contribution years ago. I'm not sure if they intended for the album to lean towards a lounge-style atmosphere, but everyone feels a little bit out of their element here. The subject matter supports this theory, as it borrows heavily from traditional blues fare (failed love and hard times).

The album works best on songs like Ain't Nothin' Like You and What You Do To Me, when it lets Auerbach's smokey voice to carry some of the vocal load, allowing the rappers to rhyme over stripped down arrangements and at the pace they are used to. It's also no coincidence that most of the strongest songs feature Nicole Wray's pitch-perfect blues voice, as she admirably bridges the gap between the two genres.  

Maybe the whole thing would have worked better if older brass-knuckle Black Keys tracks were used and the hip-hop artists were forced to keep pace and match the intensity. Or maybe it would have worked better if The Black Keys made a reverse mixtape and generated blistering new riffs for popular rap songs. Instead, it sounds like Blues and Hip-hop for dummies from artists who are far from it.

A Trader Joe's Crash Course for the Uninitiated

With new Trader Joe's Supermarkets popping up weekly 'round these parts (there are at least 4 within 5 miles of me), I thought I'd take some time to impart a sampling of the knowledge I've accrued being a regular Trader Joe's shopper to make the transition for the Whole Foods/Foodmaster regulars as smooth as Trader Joe's White Bean and Basil Hummus. Before I get into the culinary/strategy nitty-gritty, there are a few things you should know about what will furthermore be referred to as TJ's.

1. Trader Joe's almost exclusively sells items from their own Private Labels. This means, you won't be finding Cheerio's or Oreo's. Instead you'll have to settle for Joe's O's (delicious) and Joe Joe's (heavenly). This allows Trader Joe's to save lots of money by cutting out the middle man, while at the same time allowing them to oversee the quality of the ingredients.

2. Speaking of Quality ingredients, Trader Joe's has this to say about the products they sell:

Our logo assures that the products it is on contain NO artificial flavors, colors or preservatives; NO MSG; and NO added Trans Fats. In addition, ALL Trader Joe's private label products are sourced from non-genetically modified ingredients. 


3. Finally, if you enjoy trimming coupons and slogging through newspaper inserts for sales flyers, you will also be disappointed as Trader Joe's does not offer sales. The good news is, that their prices compare quite favorably to Market Basket are light years better than Whole Foods, especially considering that many of Trader Joe's products are organic and none contain any artificial ingredients.

Now that you've read all that and are sufficiently intimidated, take my hand and let me bring you to a place of PUUURE IMAGINAAAATION. At least that's the song I hear when I go inside a Trader Joe's, but maybe that's just me.

Here are a couple pieces of advice to make your grocery transportation as painless as possible:

-Trader Joe's parking lots are heinous. They are tiny and they are incredibly busy. Thusly, I bike whenever possible. I know this isn't feasible for everyone, but understand that you will need a hearty dose of ruthless to find a parking spot.

-Do not get a grocery cart under any circumstances (unless of course you are buying alcohol, more on that later). The aisles are narrow and choked with people and you will bring nothing but carnage and frustration
upon yourself if you try to scoot around with one. Use a hand basket and thank me later.

-Finally, you're going to want to bring your own bags. Trader Joe's does offer paper bags if you forget, but I think they are manufactured in hell.

As you can probably tell from the picture above, you can't carry more than a bag of tortilla chips without the flimsy handles tearing off and sending your perishables on a parking lot adventure. Don't say I didn't warn you.

With all that out of the way, let's get down to brass tax. Because all of the food is "Trader Joe's" brand, it is incredibly overwhelming setting foot into one for the first time. Probably akin to going to a supermarket in a foreign country. The good news is, almost everything is delectable. And I have tried everything, believe you me. Here are some of my favorite items, and a few items that didn't tickle my fancy.

AWESOME:

Trader Joe's Pita Chips/Trader Joe's Hummus - Less than $2 each, and both are incredibly delicious. The Chipotle Pepper Hummus does not last 24 hours in my house. MMM!

 +

Trader Joe's Tamale's - $2.29 for 2. If you have ever had these, you will know why I bring them lunch every week without fail. Shredded beef and soft masa in a corn husk. So simple, so PROFOUNDLY DELICIOUS.

Trader Joe's Tomato and Roasted Red Pepper Soup- Sounds a little bizarre, but out of this world awesome. I also love the creamy tomato soup, but the red pepper adds a little extra tang and flavor. I like to put TJ's Oyster crackers in it. So delicious and less than the cost of a crappy can of Campbell's soup. SERIOUSLY.

-DESSERT Before I go any further let me just say that I don't really care for dessert. I like ice cream from time to time, but as far as cakes and pies go, I can take it or leave it. That was before I started sniffing around at TJ's. I cannot tell you how many time's I've had something in my hand, being all wishy-washy and then I remembered the last Trader Joe's dessert I had and it immediately goes into my basket. I am not a huge fan of the MOCHI like SS is, (maybe he isn't either and just likes to say it/yell it to/at Katie), but from the Sorbet to the Creme Brulee', C'est MAGNIFIQUE.

 

-WINE/BEER Finally, last but not least is alcohol. Mind you, not every Trader Joe's carries alcohol, but when they do, hold onto your butts because you will be 30 minutes late to whatever you have planned and adding a cool $50 to your grocery bill. The good news is that $50 in Trader Joe's booze goes a LOOOOONG LOOOONG way. Don't believe me? Might I interest you in some 3-buck-chuck? In addition to this, Trader Joe's carries it's own brand of wines and beers and hundreds of other varieties, many for less than $6 a bottle. That is obscene. And they are largely fantastic. $5 for a six-pack of TJ's beer? Yes please. $4 for some Riesling? Why not. Just practice that response and you'll be just fine.

The Less Good

Here are a few Trader Joe's offerings that you should stay away from, or at least follow my instructions diligently.

- Produce. Apples = Good. Oranges = Good. Frozen Veggies = Super. Bags of lettuce? Liquefy 6 hours after you open it. Unfortunate, but them's the rules in the little town of "No Preservatives".

- Another rule is that your cheese and breads will sprout unsightly mold spots faster than you can say "Who wants some crackers and EWWWW." Fine if you are having a dinner party and will use it all at once. Otherwise, no amount of Tupperware/Vacuum Sealer can keep your refrigerator from making a sacrifice to the Mold Gods.

- I had some Trader Joe's Tuna thing about a year ago that was very strange and blechy. I think this is a picture of it.

- They have really cheap ($1) chocolate advent calendars for Christmas every year that I always buy, but the Chocolate always tastes like it should have an MSDS. I bought one again this year too and brought it to work. Oh well, they eat it early and out of order so serves them right.

Moral of this story. GO TO TRADER JOE'S. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

HEALTHY LIKE WHOLE FOODS. CHEAP LIKE MARKET BASKET.

Hey, they should put that on their ads. If they had ads. Which they don't.

For the Star Wars Geek in your Life

After initially offering it as an April Fool's joke, Thinkgeek.com somehow gained the approval of Lucasfilm and are now legitimately manufacturing the Tauntaun sleeping bag for the masses. The response from their April Fool's joke was apparently so incredible that they had no choice but to try and get the thing made. If you aren't familiar, this is a play on the iconic Empire Strikes Back scene where Han Solo places Luke inside of a dead Tauntaun to keep him warm during an ice storm. The scene is re-enacted hilariously below WITH a Tauntaun sleeping bag. As you can probably see, the sleeping bag has a Lightsaber zipper and is lined with Tauntaun guts, of course. It's $99, and available for preorder at thinkgeek.com. Unfortunately, the chances of a Star Wars nerd actually using it for camping are slim to none.



If you're on a budget, might I direct your attention to the equally hilarious Yoda backpack. Perfect for Jedi Training and only 34.99 at thinkgeek.

Review: New Moon

Since I know Mike won't review it, I will. This Saturday I sat through the amazingly entertaining New Moon, the second installment in the Twilight saga. Though I have not read the Twilight books, I've heard about them all from my girlfriend and I've read all there is to read on Wikipedia. I'm also a sucker for stories, lore, and mythology so I have to admit I would have seen this movie even if my girlfriend hadn't wanted to go. Note: my girlfriend is not a 13-year-old although about 95% of the people we saw the movie with were 13YOG's.

To start, let me say that this movie was unintentionally hilarious and worth seeing. I would rate it a -7 on JL's Absolute Value Movie Scale which ends up being a solid 7 (out of 10). For someone unfamiliar with New Moon I would explain it by saying that watching it is like watching a soap opera about vampires. The score is intermittent at best so there are long silent shots of people staring at each other longingly/lovingly/hungrily. The "hungrily" comes because some of the characters want to alternately eat each other and make love with each other and it's often hard to tell which. This is but one of the reasons this movie is very funny. The barely-restrained kissing/biting is a fantastic metaphor for abstinence. This lack of sex makes (and biting) fits in nicely with the movie as well as with Meyer's Mormonism.

The soap opera feel pervades the entire movie which actually felt long at times. The use of CGI was fine but at this point, acceptable CGI is more of a hygene factor (see A Sound of Thunder). In my view, the best parts of the movie surround the extremely buff werewolves.

As you can see in this promotional photograph, these dudes love to run arond in board shorts and not much else. This picture is entirely true to the movie in that they only wear board shorts in the movie as well! Somehow no one questions their lack of clothes, as when the big one (pictured above) runs out of the woods carrying the main character, drops her off at a police barricade, and retreats back into the woods. No questions are asked of this big fella.

In all this was an extremely entertaining movie and I would recommend it. It's much more fun than hanging out in the freezing woods with no clothes on.

Sweet Indie Band of the Week: The Middle East

The Middle East are a talented music troupe hailing from Townsville, Australia. Their songs are equal parts folky and dreamy, and regularly feature mixed harmonies and ambient noises to supplement traditional orchestration. The track Blood, off their EP The Recordings of the Middle East, is a perfect encapsulation of their sound. It has finger-picking, a delicate piano/xylophone part, and ghostly vocals that intersect at harmonies and fall away again. Check it out.

'Blood' The Middle East

the middle east | MySpace Music Videos

IT CAN'T BE TRUE

E-Grace

Driving back and forth to New Hampshire is not my preferred method of burning four hours, but the experience does afford one a unique opportunity for reflection, something I otherwise take great pains to avoid. There's something about putt-putting down familiar streets and queuing up a few forgotten songs that gets the mind a-wandering. In my case, it precipitates the humbling realization that I am supremely lucky. Not to wax existentially, but although I have yet to accomplish anything of merit in this life, I feel as though I've been acquiring the necessary tools from those around me until that day comes.

We are nothing if not a reflection of our parents love and sacrifice, so I suppose my happiness and ambition is the best compliment I can bestow upon my parents. The moral compass and humility that they instilled in me through their words and actions is something I grow more grateful for everyday.

However, I would be remiss if I thought that devoted parents alone are what it takes to fashion a decent human being. This is the part where I thank every friend for simply being that. Someone to talk to, someone to see a movie with, someone to offer advice, experiences or just a new perspective that makes the day-to-day a little bit easier and in the process shapes your character. The role that friends play in one's life cannot be overstated. To paraphrase Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life, "No man is a failure who has friends."

Lastly, I am thankful for my career which has indulged my scientific mind while providing me a steady paycheck and coworkers that I respect and admire. To have a job that you enjoy AND pays the bills is no small feat these days.

I hope that you too are reading this somewhere warm, surrounded by the ones you love.