Schneider Wedding

CYHSY

Review: Drive

As Summer ends in Late August, and movie studios hemorrhage terrible films from the bottom of their scrap heap, an interesting transition starts happening. A subtle industry shift from blockbusters to Oscar-worthy films, as if to atone for the terrible movies you've had to stomach in recent weeks. Gone are the 3D and Superheroes, dispatched in favor of stories with plot and characters. It's a beautiful thing to behold. Lately, I've had the pleasure of seeing Contagion (a gripping thriller for nerds and public alike, if a bit fluffy) and Warrior (incredible from start to finish, despite my preconceived notions to the contary). On Friday, I enjoyed one of my most anticipated Fall films: Drive, starring Ryan Gosling.

The premise of the film is simple. Ryan Gosling is a stunt-driver who moonlights as a getaway driver in LA. He knows the streets of LA the way you know your tiny hometown, the extent of which is clear from the very first sequence. He has a samurai-like quality to him that other reviewers have latched on to, a principled stoicism that is interesting to watch and impressive to pull off. As the film progressed, I started to draw other similarities, albeit tangentially to another retro-chic car-lustful film; Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. 

While the protagonists could not be more different; Kurt Russell as the raving, psychopathic 'Stuntman Mike' contrasts pretty vividly with Goslings reserved intensity, the two films start equally slowly, before gradually reaching a steady burn that turns to a raging boil in the final act. Both films also rely heavily on music to maintain a mood, Drive leaning heavily on synthesizers and 80's effects, while Tarantino and company stick to AM Rock and Roll playlists. Both share a penchant for shocking, brutal violence and exhilarating chase scenes that go to great lengths to put you inside the car. It is in telling the story that the two films begin to take different paths. 

The first thing I noticed in Drive was the director Refn's unapologetic use of silence, not only from Gosling himself, but even in scenes he isn't a part of. Scenes between Albert Brooks and his goons, or Carey Mulligan and her young son are slow in nearly every sense of the word, utilizing slow-motion, slow camera pans and little dialogue, yet they manage to hold our attention. Apart from being just plain cool to see two characters leer at each other across a room or gaze wordlessly into each others eyes, it serves to infuse these scenes with an intensity that makes the bursts of action seem more potent (I know I almost fell out of my chair the first time a gun was fired). It is in these scenes that weaker actors and weaker directors would be tempted to fall into more traditional storytelling, with the false fear that audiences wouldn't have the patience for a more thoughtful heist/car/love story. Thankfully, Gosling and Refn are completely committed to the tone and pacing of this film, and our patience in them is rewarded in the end.  

EDU: Changing Your Watch Battery

As a lover of watch finery, I knew this day was inevitable. In recent months, my watch collection had slowly dwindled until only the solar-powered remained. The others had succumbed long ago to the limitations of their lithium hearts, and were collecting dust on bureau. Last week, I purchased this inexpensive watch tool kit from Amazon, with the hopes that I could avoid the hassle and expense of spending an afternoon at the jeweler. I was tired of spending half the price of my watch every other year, just to keep it ticking. I'm not sure if this was a symptom of my frugality or impatience, but enough was enough. I set aside most of the morning Saturday to tackle this project, and am happy to report that after two hours and $24, all of my watches are back in circulation.

Here is an excerpt of the watches. There were six in total, spanning 4 brands and three different cover fastening mechanisms.

Here are the tools laid out on my patio. Tweezers, pliers, screwdrivers, hammer, flat metal knife, and some strange torture devices. If I can't change their batteries, I can at least make them talk.

This tool, as I later learned, is for removing pins from a watchband, and not as a means to "get Medieval" on these watches. As I loathe watches with metal bands, I had no use for it.

Now THIS sexy number, actually has a valuable use. It's perfectly suited for removing the cases of "screw-back" watches, of which my Puma is. Simply adjusting the pins to fit the diameter of your watch, align the little pins into the indentations, and twist counterclockwise. This went quite smoothly and I was bursting with pride.

Here is the money shot. A look at the gorgeous innards and intricacies housed within a watch. I don't know what does what, but the battery was easy enough to find and remove. I tried not to touch anything else, and set it aside while I went to work on the rest.

I should have added something to use for scale here, but this battery was SMALL. I'm glad I brought out a paper towel and put everything small into a baggy immediately, or I surely would have lost something important. I did not however, keep track of which battery went to which watch, an oversight we will return to shortly.

Two of these watches had simple screw-backs, which were easy to handle with the included micro Phillips screwdriver. It took a little bit of pressure and care to make sure I didn't strip anything, but they were no match for me. Interestingly, this tiny Timex watch contained the biggest battery by far, for reasons I still don't understand. In fact, every watch I opened had a different sized battery, which made tracking them all down afterwards quite an adventure.

The final three watches (two Skagens and a Lucien Piccard), were, to put it tactfully, huge bitches. They all had pressure fit watch backs, which were firmly sealed and had only the slightest of lips for a tool to slip in and pop the cover off. This problem was compounded by the fact that the tool kit case knife wasn't nearly thin enough to fit. Perhaps I could shuck a loose Oyster with it, but there was no way it would open these watches. In an act of desperation (there was no way I was leaving these three watches behind after coming so far), I found a nifty tool in the kitchen that did the trick.

With this little bugger, I was able to get my "pry" on. If I am reincarnated as a squirrel, I think I'll be ok.

Cut to six watches left open on the operating table while I ran down to Walgreens with my baggy of batteries. They had ONE. -$5. I then walked further to the hardware store to take in their battery collection. Good selection. Four more batteries acquired. -$18.

Before I spent anymore time leaving my watches as prey for curious birds, I would run back home and install what I had found so far, and figure out the final one later. I also wanted to check that the batteries actually worked, specifically two from the hardware store that looked to be from the 90's. I asked the cashier if they were still good, and he claimed that they only started putting expiration dates on them this year. With limited options, I took my chances. Sure enough, both of these batteries were dead. I brought them back to the store for a refund. +$9. So close, yet so far. Miraculously, as I started checking convenience stores (desperate, I know), a lady pointed me in the direction of a neighborhood jeweler, who would surely sell me batteries. After getting into this whole mess to avoid the jeweler, I was tickled that I would be crawling back there, but at least I would salvage some pride by not asking them to install them for me. As luck would have it, they had each of my three remaining batteries, and only charged my $10 for the set. I should have gone here in the first place.

They looked like robot aspirin, but they worked just fine. It took a little while to size up which battery fit where, and get the backs back on (goddamn pressure backs again), but the ticking symphony was a wonderful reward for my hard work. All in all, I learned a LOT, didn't break anything, and saved $50. DO IT. 

On Repeat: Das Racist - Michael Jackson

Liking Das Racist is a lot like flirting with a pretty girl. On a superficial level, everything seems peachy. They are everything you like with a sharp sense of humor to boot. The more time you spend around them, the deeper drawn in you become, yet there's still a part of you with your hand trembling over the red 'ABORT' button, resisting full-blown devotion. Why? Because despite this infatuation, there remains a very real possibility that this is all a huge joke and the girl will retreat giggling to her group of friends, leaving you to feel like a complete idiot.

Das Racist grabbed my attention with the incredible "Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell" a couple years ago (has it been THAT long?), and I was curious to see what they would do next, knowing absolutely nothing about the group itself. They have followed up their single with two quality mixtapes, that only furthered the "are they serious?" questions. You see, Das Racist are three Middle Eastern looking gentlemen, who dress ridiculously and rap with a hyperliterate style that you would dismiss as satire if it weren't so impressive. So are Das Racist goofy clones of 'The Lonely Island', or are they a hip-hop phenomenon primed for stardom? No one wants to be the last one in on a joke, but after hearing their debut album Relax, and hearing what they do on legitimate beats, I'm ready to go all in. Das Racist are fantastic. If you have any interest in hip-hop or even artists with a sense of humor, you owe it to yourself to check them out. Amazing songs like "Girl", "Michael Jackson" and "Booty in the Air" would have any rapper salivating to get a swing at, but they are all property of Das Racist, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Must Have Android Apps

Just over a month ago, I joined the smartphone club. It wasn't that I was putting it off exactly, it's just that there was something about a contract. My network carrier, Sprint, had me on the hook for two years with a phone that made RAZRs look trendy and sleek. I'm fine with simplicity, and after enduring 24 months with a Touch Pro 2 (phone-that-shall-not-be-named), I was seriously entertaining the idea of getting a bare bones phone, and leaving the other gadgetry for the birds. But there was one smartphone function I could not live without and forced my hand: GPS. I couldn't care less about cameras and gyrometers and apps (or so I thought), but having access to Google Maps at all times was too crucial to forgo. So I ran the numbers and got me a gorgeous Nexus S 4g and things are super. The Nexus S 4g runs the Android operating system, so I had access to all of those Apps and proceeded to go a little App crazy. After a few weeks, the really valuable ones tended to rise to the top and crappier ones tended to collect dust on my SD card. I'm here to share the best of the lot so that you might not waste your time and bandwidth downloading, installing and deleting worthless Apps. If you have an iPhone, these are probably available in some capacity through iTunes. If you don't have a smartphone at all, please proceed to the nearest exit.

Apps:

Amazon App Store -The Amazon App Store App is fantastic for two reasons: first, they offer a free Paid App every day, sometimes crappy, usually awesome and second, they offer many popular Apps for a much lower price than the Android store. Additionally, if you download something from them and need to reset your phone, they'll all be there waiting for you when you log in again, which is more than I can say for the Android store (they only save the Apps you purchase).

Allrecipes- Allrecipes.com is one of my favorite websites, so it's only fitting that their App is just as wonderful. In addition to having many of the sites recipes searchable in a mobile format (MUCH more intuitive and easier to read on a phone), they also offer a "Dinner Spinner" that asks you to plug in some basic information and will spit out recipes that fit your criteria. It's generally pretty good, although it couldn't find me any pork beverages :(

Audiogalaxy- Audiogalaxy is a great alternative to the "cloud". You simply download the app and download the desktop application on your home computer, link up your music library, and voila! As long as your computer is on and the app is open on it, you will be able to stream your entire music library to your phone seamlessly. Much faster than uploading everything to a 3rd party (Google, Amazon) while protecting your privacy at the same time.

BeyondPod - This is my go-to podcast App, and has saved me the needlessly complicated process of finding/downloading/syncing in iTunes I used to deal with. You simply search for Podcasts you like, subscribe, and they are automatically updated every day and can be downloaded or streamed for your listening pleasure.  you can mark them as read or pause and pick back up where you left off at a later time, all within the App itself. In the free version you have to manually download/refresh the podcasts, but even this is INFINITELY easier than the iTunes mess.

Craigslist - This may not be valuable for many of ya'll, but lately this App has been a godsend. Instead of searching the Craigslist swamp for Kitchen Islands, the App allows you to specify everything within the App, whether you have a maximum price or want to avoid listings without photos. The BEST part is that once you have your list of results, the Craigslist will tell you how old the listings are (to the MINUTE) and show the picture alongside the listing title. Rather than having to open up interesting ads into tabs until your browser self-destructs, you can instantly tell if that coffee table is a piece of shit.

Dolphin HD- By far the best web browser for Android phones. Fast and simple, but with enough add-ons to  make your head spin. Allows you to open links in new tabs, save bookmarks to your homepage, and even store passwords securely. As close to a real browser experience as you'll find on a phone.

Evernote - Great way to take/share notes on your phone and automatically syncs them to your online account for reviewing later. Many more features I haven't even tried yet.

Instant Heart Rate - This app is just cool. Somehow, by holding your finger up to the camera, this app calculates your heart rate with impressive accuracy. The science behind it sounds legit, so I feel comfortable sharing it, though please consult a trained professional instead of your telephone if you are experiencing heart trouble.

Google Reader - A great way to browse Google reader on the go. Nearly as functional as the site itself, albeit in a smaller package. Can share, star and like items as well as click on links to be directed to the full page. Everything it needs to be.

Google Voice - Google Voice is priceless because you never have to listen to another voicemail again. Well, you'll probably still have to listen to it again, because Google's speech to text needs some work, but still, not only does it transcribe every voicemail for you, it saves them for you, regardless of what happens to your phone. It also does the same for text messages, which is nice and also terrifying.

Mint - Mint.com is the best money management tool on earth, and the mobile able only improves it, allowing you to check account balances, set budgets and tag purchases on your phone. It is great peace of mind to have everything in one central location, and to receive emails if you go over budget or have any suspicious charges.

Movies - On the surface, movies is a standard theater locator/showtime app, but on the inside, it is closely linked with the premier movie review website, Rottentomatoes.com. Thus, whenever you view/search for a movie in Movies, you will see its tomatometer score and a list of links to reviews from top critics. By far the best way to find out if a movie is worth your time, even more so than IMDB.

Netflix - Without the streaming functionality, the Netflix app would be little more than a way to view and edit your Queue on the fly, but since streaming was activated on most Android devices, this App has become invaluable and pushed me over the edge to become a Netflix subscriber.

Old Time Radio- And now for something completely different. This app holds thousands of old radio programs, from The Green Hornet to The Lone Ranger, and all completely free. It's neat to hear the old series in their original format and most have held up well, and show you a glimpse of the power radio once had.

Plume - If you use Twitter, do yourself a favor and download Plume. I tried a few other Twitter apps, but this one blows them all away in simplicity and features. Updates frequently, makes it extremely easy to follow, retweet and mention people as well as click on tweeted links. It even saves your spot if you close the App and reopen it at a later time, something extremely useful that you don't realize you need until you have it.

Read it Later - A mobile version of the popular browser plug-in that allows you to "save" webpages (articles) to read when you have more time. I know I've tagged tons of articles using this to read when I'm on a bus or subway or just feeling like a long, satisfying read. It perfectly syncs saved pages from your browser also.

Starbucks - This app is a double-edged sword. Using it, your phone can generate a unique bar code for the barista to scan at Starbucks and instantly withdraw money from your Gold Card account. You can easily see how many rewards you have earned and set up a minimum balance, below which Starbucks will automatically initiate a withdrawal from your bank account.
Pro: Makes buying coffee easy.
Con: Makes buying coffee TOO easy.

Swype - Before Swype, I used SwiftKey, which was an admirable improvement from the stock Android keyboard, in that it viewed your texts and emails and understood your habits and vocabulary, but still relied on the old 'hunt and peck' style of texting. Swype obliterates Swiftkey. It is insanely fast, and somehow gets better the longer and more complicated words get. Sometimes it can get hung up with pronouns, etc, but after a quick addition to the dictionary, it is right back up to speed. The newest version allows you to easily select all and cut/paste from within Swype, making it all the more valuable. Give it a try and you will never go back.

Where's My Droid? - A precious App that kicks into action when you need it most, Where's My Droid? is activated by a "trigger" word, that can do anything from Ring loudly for 5 minutes when you lose your phone in the couch, to email you GPS coordinates when your phone is stolen. Don't say I didn't warn you.

WootWatcher - A great way to check all Woot and Woot-affiliated websites every day, and automatically alerts you to new listings and Wootoffs. Extremely easy to toggle between listings and buy using the App. Almost TOO easy.

Yelp - A mobile version of the de facto rating website. Better in many ways than the website in that it automatically detects your location and recommends restaurants/shops. Allows you to filter by price and proximity as well as view recommended dishes and organize reviews in a myriad of ways. A great way to discover a new town or just to try something new close to home.

Phew. This post was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Stay tuned for a second Game-centric App post in the near future.

Old Song Review: Dion - Runaround Sue

I've been on a bit of a Doo-Wop kick lately. And by bit, I mean almost listening almost exclusively after being devastated by the Lil Wayne's mediocre Carter IV and having exhausted most other decade stations on my XM Radio (60's on 6, etc). I curiously turned the dial to 50's on 5, expecting to hear Buddy Holly, and was pleased to hear music that was much more varied and exciting than I anticipated. I've always associated the 60's with Rock and Roll music and the 40's with big band era sounds, and had generally assumed that the 50's were an wasteland of Americana, with Buddy Holly and Woody Guthrie the notable exceptions. As luck would have it, Doo-Wop music, the precursor to Motown and Rock and Roll as we know it, came to be in the 50's.

Doo-wop music revolved around sophisticated four-part harmonies, complete with a booming baritone to lay down the bass notes and an energetic alto to handle the higher octaves. Often with little insrument accompaniment, Doo-wop style evolved from the barbershop quartets of the 1940's and instead relied on the singers to mimic the instruments themselves. It wasn't until later in the decade that strings and drums became
regular players and the genre truly took off, gaining the name "doo-wop" after the song "In The Still of the Night" by The Five Satins used a "doo-wop doo-wah" refrain in 1956.

Dion and the Belmonts were a huge group in the late 50's and early 60's, before frontman Dion Dimucci entered rehab for heroin addiction in 1960 and embarked on a solo career. His first hit of this solo career was a little number called "Runaround Sue" that I can't get enough of and falls neatly into the second of two categories of doo-wop, which are as follows:

1. Pining/Lusting - Singer dramatically pines for girl, expresses undying love if only she acknowledged his desperate gaze. Some of these songs approach a Pepe Le Pew level of harassment.

Example: The Four Seasons - Sherry


2. Devastation/Heartbroken - Singer is dumped/discovers disturbing information about lover which causes pain and agony.

Example: Dion - Runaround Sue


Seriously, that's pretty much how they break down, with about 80% in the first category. But the second category is where the most memorable songs are found. There's only so many ways you can express your undying devotion, but any number of creative ways that you can be cheated on or otherwise disgraced.

In Dion's case, he finds out that his girlfriend is a ho. In those days, they called her a "runaround", but today we call that a ho. Pretty racy subject matter for a pop song 50 years ago, but I suppose infidelity never goes out of style.