On Repeat: Das Racist - Michael Jackson

Liking Das Racist is a lot like flirting with a pretty girl. On a superficial level, everything seems peachy. They are everything you like with a sharp sense of humor to boot. The more time you spend around them, the deeper drawn in you become, yet there's still a part of you with your hand trembling over the red 'ABORT' button, resisting full-blown devotion. Why? Because despite this infatuation, there remains a very real possibility that this is all a huge joke and the girl will retreat giggling to her group of friends, leaving you to feel like a complete idiot.

Das Racist grabbed my attention with the incredible "Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell" a couple years ago (has it been THAT long?), and I was curious to see what they would do next, knowing absolutely nothing about the group itself. They have followed up their single with two quality mixtapes, that only furthered the "are they serious?" questions. You see, Das Racist are three Middle Eastern looking gentlemen, who dress ridiculously and rap with a hyperliterate style that you would dismiss as satire if it weren't so impressive. So are Das Racist goofy clones of 'The Lonely Island', or are they a hip-hop phenomenon primed for stardom? No one wants to be the last one in on a joke, but after hearing their debut album Relax, and hearing what they do on legitimate beats, I'm ready to go all in. Das Racist are fantastic. If you have any interest in hip-hop or even artists with a sense of humor, you owe it to yourself to check them out. Amazing songs like "Girl", "Michael Jackson" and "Booty in the Air" would have any rapper salivating to get a swing at, but they are all property of Das Racist, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Must Have Android Apps

Just over a month ago, I joined the smartphone club. It wasn't that I was putting it off exactly, it's just that there was something about a contract. My network carrier, Sprint, had me on the hook for two years with a phone that made RAZRs look trendy and sleek. I'm fine with simplicity, and after enduring 24 months with a Touch Pro 2 (phone-that-shall-not-be-named), I was seriously entertaining the idea of getting a bare bones phone, and leaving the other gadgetry for the birds. But there was one smartphone function I could not live without and forced my hand: GPS. I couldn't care less about cameras and gyrometers and apps (or so I thought), but having access to Google Maps at all times was too crucial to forgo. So I ran the numbers and got me a gorgeous Nexus S 4g and things are super. The Nexus S 4g runs the Android operating system, so I had access to all of those Apps and proceeded to go a little App crazy. After a few weeks, the really valuable ones tended to rise to the top and crappier ones tended to collect dust on my SD card. I'm here to share the best of the lot so that you might not waste your time and bandwidth downloading, installing and deleting worthless Apps. If you have an iPhone, these are probably available in some capacity through iTunes. If you don't have a smartphone at all, please proceed to the nearest exit.

Apps:

Amazon App Store -The Amazon App Store App is fantastic for two reasons: first, they offer a free Paid App every day, sometimes crappy, usually awesome and second, they offer many popular Apps for a much lower price than the Android store. Additionally, if you download something from them and need to reset your phone, they'll all be there waiting for you when you log in again, which is more than I can say for the Android store (they only save the Apps you purchase).

Allrecipes- Allrecipes.com is one of my favorite websites, so it's only fitting that their App is just as wonderful. In addition to having many of the sites recipes searchable in a mobile format (MUCH more intuitive and easier to read on a phone), they also offer a "Dinner Spinner" that asks you to plug in some basic information and will spit out recipes that fit your criteria. It's generally pretty good, although it couldn't find me any pork beverages :(

Audiogalaxy- Audiogalaxy is a great alternative to the "cloud". You simply download the app and download the desktop application on your home computer, link up your music library, and voila! As long as your computer is on and the app is open on it, you will be able to stream your entire music library to your phone seamlessly. Much faster than uploading everything to a 3rd party (Google, Amazon) while protecting your privacy at the same time.

BeyondPod - This is my go-to podcast App, and has saved me the needlessly complicated process of finding/downloading/syncing in iTunes I used to deal with. You simply search for Podcasts you like, subscribe, and they are automatically updated every day and can be downloaded or streamed for your listening pleasure.  you can mark them as read or pause and pick back up where you left off at a later time, all within the App itself. In the free version you have to manually download/refresh the podcasts, but even this is INFINITELY easier than the iTunes mess.

Craigslist - This may not be valuable for many of ya'll, but lately this App has been a godsend. Instead of searching the Craigslist swamp for Kitchen Islands, the App allows you to specify everything within the App, whether you have a maximum price or want to avoid listings without photos. The BEST part is that once you have your list of results, the Craigslist will tell you how old the listings are (to the MINUTE) and show the picture alongside the listing title. Rather than having to open up interesting ads into tabs until your browser self-destructs, you can instantly tell if that coffee table is a piece of shit.

Dolphin HD- By far the best web browser for Android phones. Fast and simple, but with enough add-ons to  make your head spin. Allows you to open links in new tabs, save bookmarks to your homepage, and even store passwords securely. As close to a real browser experience as you'll find on a phone.

Evernote - Great way to take/share notes on your phone and automatically syncs them to your online account for reviewing later. Many more features I haven't even tried yet.

Instant Heart Rate - This app is just cool. Somehow, by holding your finger up to the camera, this app calculates your heart rate with impressive accuracy. The science behind it sounds legit, so I feel comfortable sharing it, though please consult a trained professional instead of your telephone if you are experiencing heart trouble.

Google Reader - A great way to browse Google reader on the go. Nearly as functional as the site itself, albeit in a smaller package. Can share, star and like items as well as click on links to be directed to the full page. Everything it needs to be.

Google Voice - Google Voice is priceless because you never have to listen to another voicemail again. Well, you'll probably still have to listen to it again, because Google's speech to text needs some work, but still, not only does it transcribe every voicemail for you, it saves them for you, regardless of what happens to your phone. It also does the same for text messages, which is nice and also terrifying.

Mint - Mint.com is the best money management tool on earth, and the mobile able only improves it, allowing you to check account balances, set budgets and tag purchases on your phone. It is great peace of mind to have everything in one central location, and to receive emails if you go over budget or have any suspicious charges.

Movies - On the surface, movies is a standard theater locator/showtime app, but on the inside, it is closely linked with the premier movie review website, Rottentomatoes.com. Thus, whenever you view/search for a movie in Movies, you will see its tomatometer score and a list of links to reviews from top critics. By far the best way to find out if a movie is worth your time, even more so than IMDB.

Netflix - Without the streaming functionality, the Netflix app would be little more than a way to view and edit your Queue on the fly, but since streaming was activated on most Android devices, this App has become invaluable and pushed me over the edge to become a Netflix subscriber.

Old Time Radio- And now for something completely different. This app holds thousands of old radio programs, from The Green Hornet to The Lone Ranger, and all completely free. It's neat to hear the old series in their original format and most have held up well, and show you a glimpse of the power radio once had.

Plume - If you use Twitter, do yourself a favor and download Plume. I tried a few other Twitter apps, but this one blows them all away in simplicity and features. Updates frequently, makes it extremely easy to follow, retweet and mention people as well as click on tweeted links. It even saves your spot if you close the App and reopen it at a later time, something extremely useful that you don't realize you need until you have it.

Read it Later - A mobile version of the popular browser plug-in that allows you to "save" webpages (articles) to read when you have more time. I know I've tagged tons of articles using this to read when I'm on a bus or subway or just feeling like a long, satisfying read. It perfectly syncs saved pages from your browser also.

Starbucks - This app is a double-edged sword. Using it, your phone can generate a unique bar code for the barista to scan at Starbucks and instantly withdraw money from your Gold Card account. You can easily see how many rewards you have earned and set up a minimum balance, below which Starbucks will automatically initiate a withdrawal from your bank account.
Pro: Makes buying coffee easy.
Con: Makes buying coffee TOO easy.

Swype - Before Swype, I used SwiftKey, which was an admirable improvement from the stock Android keyboard, in that it viewed your texts and emails and understood your habits and vocabulary, but still relied on the old 'hunt and peck' style of texting. Swype obliterates Swiftkey. It is insanely fast, and somehow gets better the longer and more complicated words get. Sometimes it can get hung up with pronouns, etc, but after a quick addition to the dictionary, it is right back up to speed. The newest version allows you to easily select all and cut/paste from within Swype, making it all the more valuable. Give it a try and you will never go back.

Where's My Droid? - A precious App that kicks into action when you need it most, Where's My Droid? is activated by a "trigger" word, that can do anything from Ring loudly for 5 minutes when you lose your phone in the couch, to email you GPS coordinates when your phone is stolen. Don't say I didn't warn you.

WootWatcher - A great way to check all Woot and Woot-affiliated websites every day, and automatically alerts you to new listings and Wootoffs. Extremely easy to toggle between listings and buy using the App. Almost TOO easy.

Yelp - A mobile version of the de facto rating website. Better in many ways than the website in that it automatically detects your location and recommends restaurants/shops. Allows you to filter by price and proximity as well as view recommended dishes and organize reviews in a myriad of ways. A great way to discover a new town or just to try something new close to home.

Phew. This post was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Stay tuned for a second Game-centric App post in the near future.

Old Song Review: Dion - Runaround Sue

I've been on a bit of a Doo-Wop kick lately. And by bit, I mean almost listening almost exclusively after being devastated by the Lil Wayne's mediocre Carter IV and having exhausted most other decade stations on my XM Radio (60's on 6, etc). I curiously turned the dial to 50's on 5, expecting to hear Buddy Holly, and was pleased to hear music that was much more varied and exciting than I anticipated. I've always associated the 60's with Rock and Roll music and the 40's with big band era sounds, and had generally assumed that the 50's were an wasteland of Americana, with Buddy Holly and Woody Guthrie the notable exceptions. As luck would have it, Doo-Wop music, the precursor to Motown and Rock and Roll as we know it, came to be in the 50's.

Doo-wop music revolved around sophisticated four-part harmonies, complete with a booming baritone to lay down the bass notes and an energetic alto to handle the higher octaves. Often with little insrument accompaniment, Doo-wop style evolved from the barbershop quartets of the 1940's and instead relied on the singers to mimic the instruments themselves. It wasn't until later in the decade that strings and drums became
regular players and the genre truly took off, gaining the name "doo-wop" after the song "In The Still of the Night" by The Five Satins used a "doo-wop doo-wah" refrain in 1956.

Dion and the Belmonts were a huge group in the late 50's and early 60's, before frontman Dion Dimucci entered rehab for heroin addiction in 1960 and embarked on a solo career. His first hit of this solo career was a little number called "Runaround Sue" that I can't get enough of and falls neatly into the second of two categories of doo-wop, which are as follows:

1. Pining/Lusting - Singer dramatically pines for girl, expresses undying love if only she acknowledged his desperate gaze. Some of these songs approach a Pepe Le Pew level of harassment.

Example: The Four Seasons - Sherry


2. Devastation/Heartbroken - Singer is dumped/discovers disturbing information about lover which causes pain and agony.

Example: Dion - Runaround Sue


Seriously, that's pretty much how they break down, with about 80% in the first category. But the second category is where the most memorable songs are found. There's only so many ways you can express your undying devotion, but any number of creative ways that you can be cheated on or otherwise disgraced.

In Dion's case, he finds out that his girlfriend is a ho. In those days, they called her a "runaround", but today we call that a ho. Pretty racy subject matter for a pop song 50 years ago, but I suppose infidelity never goes out of style.

Kanye West, Jay-Z - Watch the Throne

Unlike films, listening to music is an intensely personal experience, and one whose impact varies significantly with environment and context. Listening to an album in your car is a completely different experience than enjoying it through your headphones, and to this effect, very few albums have the excitement and honesty to be played in both these places. It should come as no surprise that Watch the Throne sounds pretty good in traffic, but you might be surprised to hear that it also excels at my desk through my iPod.

In fact, I would go so far to say that in order to properly evaluate the album, you need to listen to it in both contexts. When I first got a hold of WTT, I threw on my Nano on the way out the door and listened to it five times at work, marveling at the amazing beats but feeling a little turned off by the heavy content. Too many songs laid on the religious and black power undertones way too thick, and I found myself over-analyzing all of the lyrics as a result. After a week or so, I had already cherry-picked my favorite songs and shoehorned them into my Running Mix and was perfectly content to never listen to the other songs again. It wasn't until I saw the "Otis" video that I realized I was overlooking a critical element of WTT that changed the entire album for me.

The Spike Jonze directed video for 'Otis' is genius in its simplicity, perfectly capturing the absolutely astounding luxury-filled lives that Kanye and Jay lead, but also highlighting how much darn FUN they have. Sure they are taking blowtorches and saws to a $350,000 car, and they have 4 supermodels sliding around in the backseat, but beyond that, they seem like otherwise normal guys having an incredible time. They giggle, they pose goofily for the camera, they hang off one another like brothers do when dad takes the video camera out. Sure their car spits flames and they seem to have a private track for donuts, but the whole thing isn't far removed from the best friends in Bellflower who created their own fire-breathing monster in 'Medusa' on a considerably tighter budget. The Otis video underlined the magic that sparked the album in the first place; that Kanye and Jay-Z have nothing to prove to anyone, and whatever came out of their partnership had to capture that 'fun' before all else.

I still think that there are some heavy themes on WTT, but they no longer detract from the experience as a whole, feeling instead like inevitable topics. Maybe if they had slipped in a few guest verses, they never would have mined such dark material, but there's something pretty special about a 16-song album with absolutely zero hip-hop features. That sort of thing just doesn't happen anymore, and goes to show you the creative excitement these two are able to draw out of one another. What Kanye first announced as a 5-song EP, and no fan ever took seriously, actually came out AND didn't embarrass any of the parties involved. That is an impressive feat.

Restaurant Week: Meritage

For those of you from more suburban areas, Restaurant Week is an event where the fanciest of the fancy restaurants open their doors to us common folk and offer three course meals for a mere 33 dollars. Of course, with "suggested" wine pairings and "recommended" side dishes or glazes or other tomfoolery that you feel obligated to splurge on since you are nearly robbing the place blind paying only $33. Many who frequent restaurant week do so with serious reservations and research, knowing that the experience is very much a mixed bag. I know I personally check Yelp a few days into Restaurant week to see what people are saying before I make my reservation. I have had absolutely rapturous meals (Smith and Wollensky) and wholly disappointing meals (Harvest) during restaurant week, and though $33 is a small price to pay for the experience, you still want to feel like you are getting your moneys worth.

This year, I had my eyes set squarely on the creme de la creme, one of the most esteemed restaurants in Boston: Meritage. Located within the Boston Harbor Hotel, it is a gorgeous place that Zagat calls "romantic", "chic", offering "exquisite harbor views" and "beautiful taste symphonies". Seriously. With a glowing recommendation like that, I leapt at the first reservation I could find. Planning it as a surprise for my date, I tried to sneakily use Google Maps on my phone while also confidently leading the way, but when your restaurant is inside of a hotel, you can only get so far before you need to whisper to a doorman. We were seated just before 7pm, just in time to see the some of the last light drain out of the harbor (the sun set behind us, who knew?).

We were quickly presented restaurant week menus, and urged to try either of the two wine pairings our waiter assured us were fantastic deals. He was a dour man of average build, for whom restaurant week was probably at best a nuisance and at worst a sacrilege. We resisted his charms on the wine, placed our orders, and drank in the views. I shouldn't have to tell you, but Restaurant Week is MADE for Filet Mignon. In fact, if I see a restaurant that doesn't have steak on its RW menu, I promptly excommunicate it from competition. This reflex was only further ingrained after having some weird ham slab entree at Harvest two years ago. So needless to say, MT and I both enjoyed the filet...eventually.

The thing about these fancy restaurants are, is regardless of how you are dressed and present yourself, you can't help but feel that something is "giving you away". This is especially acute when you begin to feel miffed or disappointed. For example, shortly after placing our orders, we were each given three different pieces of bread. Once was a traditional dinner roll, plump and fluffy, which MT attacked with reckless abandon. Another was a meager slice of cinnamon raisin bread, cut from a loaf that was surely sat on. The final roll was a crusty, porous bread that was everything I could ever ask for. We were also given a heaping dish of whipped butter with a huge cursive M emblazoned across it, to remind us where we were. Admittedly, it was a cute touch that really brought home the fact that this place was really insanely fancy. I don't know how else to put it. Unfortunately, after we ate this bread, we waited a good 40 minutes before the first course showed up. Being unaccustomed to restaurants of this stature, I gave them the benefit of the doubt and told myself that they were surely following the advice of their resident gastroenterologist and giving our stomachs ample time to handle those complex carbohydrates. It wasn't until other tables started getting their food in a timely fashion that I started to feel hungry/grumpy. I blame MT, since she claimed to have seen our waiter, appetizers in hand, turn around and head back into the kitchen after emerging and seeing her with bread left on her plate. Why he didn't just come back in 5 minutes is beyond me, but we waited patiently.

When it comes to appetizers at these places, you are probably better off rolling a dice than trying to visualize what you are actually going to get. MT ordered a Salmon, Avocado and Creme Fraiche dish that looked a bit like a slightly more unstable leaning tower of Pisa above leafy brambles. Not what I would have expected from the description, but upon further review, it explicitly mentions the word "tower" so I suppose I should hold my tongue. I had spinach and shallot ravioli, which were pretty tasty, although the "wrapper-style" ravioli was a bit gummy. After another forty minutes, the main-course showed up and I was grateful. Not grateful enough apparently, as the waiter deemed it necessary to hover above me "waiting for his thank you" (his words) before excusing himself. Perhaps this turn of phrase simply came out incorrectly (he was French, but seemed more Spanish, and neither of us were convinced either accent was real), but I was a tad offended that he needed an expression of gratitude before we would let us enjoy our meal. Perhaps the wait staff is trained not to leave the table until everyone is satisfied with their food, but like I said, the word choice was unfortunate. With that being said, the filet was fantastic, as were the steamed carrots, whipped potatoes and potato "chip" (I use that term loosely).

MT and I decided to go our separate ways for dessert, with she opting for the chocolate tasting plate, while I chose the artisan cheeses. It felt like my duty to order the cheeses after enduring some heckling from my cheese post. I'm happy to report that all of the cheeses were delicious and unique. Maybe it's because cheeses are so often served as appetizers, but I rarely give their flavor and texture as much attention as I should. But when it's being served as dessert, and your girlfriend is eating some chocolate/caramel/pretzel cup, you get to know the cheese pretty intimately. The fontina was especially fantastic, soft and exploding with flavor, that I didn't expect. It tasted like distilled macaroni and cheese, and I mean that in the best possible way. The double-Gloucester was also great, and CM is right, it did taste a lot like cheddar, though with a bit of a sweet finish to it. The gouda was my least favorite, but MT loved it, so go figure. The chocolates were good also, but I've never been a big dessert guy, so I only tried a couple. All in all, the meal was quite good, though ranking in the middle of the road as far as Restaurant Week experiences go, mostly due to the off-putting waiter and the agonizing wait times.

     

Lists: Cheese

A little birdie told me that music reviews and recipes don't really get the blood pumping like a rant or some old-fashioned snark, so I thought I'd jump the tracks for a little bit and get back on the "List" train I've been known to frequent in the past. I like lists because they are chock full of opinion and tend to get comments which means (though doesn't guarantee) that someone is reading this godforsaken blog. I've done lists about Cereal, Trader Joes, and Summertime refreshment, but I think it's about time I did one about one of my favorite foods: cheese. My love of cheese-flavoured snacks is the stuff of legends, and perhaps I this list will inspire a future list of my favourite cheesy snacks, but you may be surprised to know I have opinions about ACTUAL cheese as well! Well, probably not as encyclopedic as my knowledge of Cheez-its, but I'm going to give it a whirl. Behold a comprehensive list of cheeses that I enjoy and others that are a waste of bacteria. Authors Note: Wikipedia lists about 600 cheeses on their website, so in the interests of time, I'm going to narrow this list to my Top 5 and my Bottom 5. Apologies.    

1. Cheddar - I don't think anything needs to be said about cheddar. If you are an American, you like cheddar (NOT American cheese, more on that later). If you are from New England, you LOVE cheddar, and if you are from New Hampshire or Vermont, well, it's part of dessert. Seriously, Apple Pie and Cheddar is an amazing dessert. There's not much better than a slice of extra sharp cheddar on a Triscuit or similar cracker. For my money, Cheddar is the cheese to beat.

2. Goat - Goat cheese is an incredible cheese, though sometimes it needs some help to realize its full potential.   With a little olive oil and some herbs, it is nearly unbeatable when it comes to dipping/spreading/eating-the-whole-thing-in-one-sitting cheese. If you see anyone selling little pucks in tubs at a Farmer's market, make sure to grab yourself a couple. I don't care as much for the Goat Cheese "logs" that are available at TJs, mostly because they are so crumbly/dry that they either break the cracker or make a mess.

3. Parmesan - Parmesan is a versatile little cheese. When I grew up, we only had that green shaker of Parmesan dust that everyone put on their pasta, but nowadays it no longer has suffer the embarrassment that goes with being alongside other condiments. In my opinion, Parmesan is BETTER when it is central to a dish, especially in baked goods, as it has a tang and a sharpness that keeps it from being overpowered by other strong flavors. It's amazing in scones and breads, especially when it gets a little crispy and melts together at the bottom of the pan. Any good cheese is better a little burnt. If you see any of those green tubes of parmesan at any of your friends houses, you have my permission to throw them away and blame it on me. I'll cut them off a piece of my block.

4. Mozzarella - If you want a satisfying cheese or a cheese that will help you get away with murder, Mozzarella is your cheese. The gummy strings of mozzarella trailing off a pizza or the business end of a mozzarella stick really get the salivary glands in a frenzy, even if those delicious treats are accompanied by the most dangerous choking hazard known to man. The threat of imminent death and embarrassment is worth it to enjoy that gob of cheese in your cheek for the next 5 minutes. Mozzarella loses a few points in the flavor department, although I have had a few varieties with sufficient punch.

5. Pepper-Jack Cheese - Every time I have Pepper-Jack cheese, it tastes like the first time, and I wonder why I don't have it more often. It has a wonderful smooth and hearty cheese flavor, but also has little flecks of pepper that ignite the sort of dull burn that can only be satiated with more cheese. Great for melting and for snacking, Pepper-Jack is a dark horse cheese that should not be underestimated.

Honorable Mentions: Feta, Gorgonzola, Asiago (maybe if I ever tasted it outside of a Panera bagel), Gouda (lost points for puns), Cottage (half of it usually rots in my fridge).

BOTTOM 5 CHEESES:

5. Blue Cheese - There are times when Blue Cheese is tolerable, but most of the time it takes a great deal of discipline to stifle a gag-reflex. I am working on my aversion to "stinky" cheeses, but I'm convinced people only enjoy Blue Cheese because it is conducive to dipping. If Cheddar were a liquid at room temperature, Blue Cheese would be shown the door. Sometimes I can handle blue cheese if it is on the tamer side, but the risk of getting a ripe one is too high to justify. Interesting note: as it turns out, "Blue Cheese" is also a name for a popular strain of Cannabis, as I found out while trying to Google image search for this entry. So at least it has that to fall back on.

4. Swiss Cheese - Swiss is another cheese I don't think I will ever like, which is a shame, because I think it has ruined ham for me simply by association. It has a strange nuttiness and bitterness that does nothing for my palate except make me think, "I wish there were more holes in this". I've had it in baked goods (it nearly ruined croissants too), and its bitterness and nuttiness and umami-esque flavors are only enhanced by heating. If you're looking for something to lace with poison, Swiss cheese is the way to go; they'll probably never notice.

3. Nacho Cheese - Is this even a type of cheese? I've only seen it in dark corners of convenience stores or at baseball games, but that gelatinous stream of orange mucus is the stuff of nightmares. There is no discernable taste or texture, just a race against the clock to consume it before it coagulates. No one has ever succeeded. It probably comes in a bag with a spigot. I would never slap that bag.

2. Easy Cheese - Perhaps I have bad memories of Easy Cheese from a troubled college acquaintance, but I don't think I will ever understand the allure of the canister of spray-able cheese. In this day and age, you can get ANYTHING in individually-wrapped, convenient packages. There is no reason on God's green earth that any human being needs a cheese product to be extruded under pressure for their suckling pleasure. If a person is too obese to cut a slice of cheese, perhaps Easy Cheese is what got them in this predicament in the first place.

1. American Cheese - The WORST cheese. Why do people eat this? It has the disturbing tang of Miracle Whip, has the texture of human skin, and comes wrapped like a maxi pad. It is some amorphous solid that defies any law of motion or thermodynamics and is the cheese of choice for terrible lunch products like Lunchables that people have some misplaced Nostalgia for. If it weren't called American cheese, it would probably not exist, but because it is named after our country (USA!), people feel some sort of civic duty to eat it. If you are buying American cheese to prove your patriotism, you should have your citizenship revoked.

Maine