Thursday, September 9, 2010

Oh Google, you've outdone yourselves.

So Google recently unveiled something called "Google Scribe" which is basically real-time predictive text for your emails/blogs/etc. As SS and anyone who's ever received a text from him can attest, predictive text has a little ways to go before it is ready to take over our emails and blog posts. Some would even say predictive text is a "might presumptious".

With that being said, Google is a pretty nifty company, so they have probably ironed out most of these problems before rolling this thing out. Right? RIGHT? Let's just see, shall we. I'm going to give Google Scribe a little test with some famous sentences, and see where it takes me. I'll give it the first couple words, and simply ride it to its logical conclusion.

Martin Luther King Jr's "I have a dream speech"

"I have a dream......that one day I will be able to see this on the map or by adding a new direction for the future of the world and the world of the living room and dining room with a view to share videos with friends and family to enjoy a good meal and a drink for the first time."

Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities"

"It was the best of times.....and the bad guys are not going to be a member of the Board of Directors of the Company and the Company shall be entitled to a refund of the purchase price of the product."

Maybe these are too obscure for our culture these days? Maybe people are too obsessed with music and Facebook to be searching for old speeches and classic literature. Let's try and give it something a bit more recent.

Cee-Lo Green "Fuck You"

"Although there's pain in my chest, I still.......have not found any instances of professional misconduct for this lawyer to other clients."

Wow Google. I mean, at least try and consider the context or something. It seems like all you have in your database are court logs. I'll give you one last chance to prove yourself. Here's a famous film quote you should have no trouble completing.

The Godfather

"I'm going to make him an offer....he can not be held responsible for."

Close enough. Bravo. But if it's all the same to you Google, I think I'll stick with predictive text for now and consider trying it again in 2035.

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