AFV

On the heels of SS's America's Funniest Home Video themed blog post of yesterday, I thought I would dust off the above graph of AFV hilarity. I made it as a guest graph for Sam last fall, but after reading his post I feel compelled to add "Spills" and "Model Plane Failure" somewhere along the X-axis. Although I guess all those would fall under the umbrella of VIDEO MONTAGE, but that's a bit of a cop out. I'm not going to spend any more time splitting hairs about what type of clips are funniest, but I do want to explain why America's Funniest Home Videos is a national treasure and the funniest television show ever made (yes, even funnier than AD).

Before Jackass added a heavy dose of gross to the formula and Youtube had a domain, AFV was the original purveyor of viral videos. I remember watching on Sunday nights in my pajamas when I was 7 years old, listening to Bob Saget make abhorrent squeaky voices and having to slog through 20 minutes of flubbed Wedding vows and slippery dentures for the holy grail of the video montage. But without fail, it brought the heights of tear-inducing, diaphragm-seizing laughter that is nearly impossible to achieve sober. As such, my love for AFV is like that of a hopeless heroin addict. I can go a few days, maybe even a week without seeing an episode, but once I relapse, the AFV 5-episode bender is inevitable. 

It might be a stretch, but I would propose that anyone who dislikes AFV is unAmerican. Watching someone get hit in the balls is as American as baseball and apple pie. Furthermore, I would argue that AFV is a shining example of what makes America great. Americans love for video montages and receiving thousands of dollars for doing absolutely nothing cuts across all races and creeds. You will not see a more diverse group of people than those in the crowd during an AFV episode, and whenever the camera cuts to them their faces are contorted into such a display of ecstasy that it feels crass to be watching. Now, don't get me started on the clips that actually win. More often than not they are a kid who made a gigantic mess or some overwrought college prank. AFV humor is inversely proportional to the length of the clip, which is why an entire episode of video montages would result in societal collapse. But what a way to go.

EDIT: Hi Tom Bergeron! I am available for creative counsel or would settle for being a member of the studio audience.