REGIS? Death Row? That's just unconscionable. Just listen to Patton Oswalt's rant about that abysmal Christmas Shoes song (NSFW). Now that I've gone and dashed your Christmas spirit, let me take off my Scrooge costume and explain that there are alternatives. There are SOME original Christmas songs that can actually co-exist with Holiday staples, and I'd like to share them with you. Here are 15 Pop Christmas Songs that DON'T Suck (not including Bing Crosby, because he could populate this list himself.)
1. Last Christmas - WHAM!
The perfect example of a great pop Christmas song. The benchmark by which all others are measured.
2. Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You
Say what you will about Ms. Carey, but this song ALWAYS brings it. And I will ALWAYS try to hit every note.
3. Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Yes, perhaps this is not an ORIGINAL song, but it's Bruce Springsteen, so kindly STFU and listen.
4. John Lennon - Happy XMas (War Is Over)
Awesome Song, Awesome Dude. It's giving me chills right, now but my window is also open.
5. Paul McCartney - Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time
Not to be outdone, Paul offered us this gem. Please no one tell Ringo.
6. Alvin and the Chipmunks - The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)
If anyone badmouths this song I will hit you in the mouth. I asked my parents for a hula hoop because of this song. Also, Patton Oswalt's joke about it is a riot. Below:
7. Britney Spears - My Only Wish This Year
No comments so as to preserve my street cred.
8. Chuck Berry - Run Rudolph Run
I can't listen to this song without picturing the McCallister family running through the airport in Home Alone.
9. Brenda Lee - Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
Another one from Home Alone. Kevin dancing in the living room while Michael Jordan rides a trainset.
10. Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?
BOY GEORGE. PHIL COLLINS. GEORGE MICHAEL. STING. BONO. BOWIE. 1984. CHRISTMAS.
11. Elvis - Blue Christmas
Ya'll want to talk some crap about Elvis? I'm all ears.
12. Bobby Helms - Jingle Bell Rock
Home Alone 2 Soundtrack. I'm noticing a trend.
13. Elton John - Step Into Christmas
Don't get any ideas Bieber.
14. Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad
It means Merry Christmas in Spanish!
15. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby
Santa is Sexy!!
Now you can delete your Glee Christmas Album. Your Welcome.