Amputation

I think my leg may have to come off. Despite egregious wounds I've been able to make my way to Mike's apartment to watch the game. We're currently sitting right next to each other with laptops watching the game (waiting for the tip-off). I can only hope the Celts have a better game than the ride I had.

8:49 Some actor from the Sopranos does a tequila commercial for 1800 Tequila. 1800 is the stuff that magically appears with John Lamb at parties around 1:00am. When the 1800 comes out you know it's about to go straight downhill.

Let me say that Dwight Howard's STUPID mustache makes him look like a French Croupier. If his shoulders weren't the size of my head (each) I would want to punch him in the face. Yes, he intimidates me to the extent that I censor my own thoughts.

What is the Orlando Magic's mascot? Is it merlin? Is it just a sparkly basketball like the one that appears on their jerseys? Whatever it is it's got to be ridiculous.

You may have realized that I don't know shit about basketball. Yes, I know what a f-ing shot clock is. It's a countdown timer for that runs down from 24. When it runs out you have to press "x" and shoot the ball from wherever you are on the court.

8:55pm Ray Allen is still sneering.

8:56pm And-one for Paul Pierce. I think his favorite part of basketball is getting fouls. I wonder where he ranks among the most fouled members of the NBA. After he retires he may have a career in professional soccer.

8:58pm I have no freaking idea what Inception (commercial on now) is about from the previews. All I know is that buildings are crumbling and turning upside down. It's like a MC Escher version of Batman.

9:00pm What is Stan Van Gundy's blood pressure. Has anyone talked to him about that? I think he may faint if he continues his absurd yelling. It also seems really effective with his players. Can you tell "really" is dripping with sarcasm.

What is Mike blogging about?