Monday, February 8, 2010

Day of Reckoning

Tomorrow promises to be a dark day if you consider yourself a fan of one Weezy F. Baby. If you don't recall, tomorrow Dwayne Carter, Jr (Lil Wayne) will be formally sentenced after pleading guilty to a 2007 felony gun possession charge and is expected to proceed directly to jail to begin serving his term. The general legal consensus is that Wayne will be sentenced to a year in prison. Some speculate that Wayne could be out in as little as 8 months with good behavior. In the hip-hop community, 8 months is an eternity. Poor Weezy is going to feel (and look) like Rip Van Winkle when he gets out.

With Lil' Wayne and Gucci Mane in jail, winter just got a whole lot colder. What are we to do as Wayne disciples in this hour of uncertainty? I can't speak for anyone else, but my grief has taken the shape of a killer Weezy playlist and a little Vegas oddsmaking.

Chances Lil Wayne is able to smuggle weed into prison: 6:5

Chances Lil Wayne is able to smuggle Promethazine into prison: 5:2

Chances Lil Wayne escapes prison: 50:1

Chances Lil Wayne gets a new teardrop tattoo in prison: 50%

Chances Lil Wayne releases an album while in prison: 90%

Number of words Lil Wayne finds rhyme with prison: 94

Chances Lil Wayne engages in a conjugal orgy: 3:1

Chances Lil Wayne cuts his dreads off in prison: 10,000:1

Chances Lil Wayne has his grill confiscated, only to have it returned after autographing a copy of Tha Carter III for the Warden's grand-daughter: 40%

Chances Lil Wayne regrets releasing Rebirth: 100%

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