Winter is a dreary time. A time made considerably drearier by the barren film landscape during the first few months of a new year. The much celebrated Oscar season (October-December) gives way to the major studio hemorrhage that is January-March, a dark period where I lose most of my faith in humanity. This is the time when I shack up in my apartment and resolve to watch all the movie's I've been meaning to see. I don't even bother looking at the marquee at the Capitol theatre until Mid-March, it's that bad.
This year is no exception, with abominations like Tooth Fairy* and Dear John** raking in OBSCENE profits, the only glimmer of hope on the horizon coming in the form of the trailers that proceed them. Miraculously, Martin Scorcese's Shutter Island came out this weekend, and it was 50 degrees yesterday, so we may be on the homestretch of this whole winter thing (knock on wood). To celebrate, I'm going to list a few of my most-anticipated films of 2010, in order of release date. Unless otherwise stated, click on the film title to watch the trailer, as I don't want to weigh down the whole blog post with embeds.
Cop Out (trailer may be NSFW) - February 26th
Formerly known as 'A Couple of Dicks'***, this film features Tracy Morgan being Tracy Morgan for 90 minutes. From what I can tell, Bruce Willis plays the straight cop to Tracy's comic foil, with a plot revolving around a missing baseball card, but suffice to say I don't really care. What I do know, is that Tracy will take his shirt off and say some cooky things, and that I will pay for that.
Date Night - April 9th
Tina Fey and Steve Carell are almost certainly the two funniest people on TV, so any film that pairs them as husband and wife is a comedy goldmine. They both have such hilarious deadpan deliveries and awkwardness that will play well in an action-comedy like this.
Iron Man 2 - May 7th
Anyone who says they don't have a crush on Robert Downey Jr, male or female, is a bald-faced liar. He has a playful sarcasm shtick that only he (and maybe Clooney****) can get away with, and just exudes indifference. The first Iron Man was deserving of its critical and box-office success, and with Don Cheadle, Samuel L. Jackson, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow and Sam Rockwell rounding out the cast, it will likely rival The Dark Knight in number of characters crammed into a film. Looks great.
Inception - July 16th
From Christopher Nolan (director of The Dark Knight, The Prestige, Memento) and featuring Leonardo Dicaprio, Marion Cotillard, Michael Caine, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page, Inception is a Sci-Fi Thriller whose plot has been shrouded in secrecy thus far. The teaser trailer does little to answer any questions, showing snippets of Matrix-inspired gravity-defying stunts and Leo looking rattled. Nolan is one of the best directors working today, so I've seen all I need to see.
Toy Story 3 - July 23rd
I'm not a fan of sequels generally, and I may be in the minority in not being a huge fan of Toy Story 2, but I trust that Pixar has a plot worthy of taking Woody and Buzz out of the toy box for a 3rd go-round. This time, Andy's going to college***** and the toys get donated to a preschool. Chaos ensues, they meet new toys, and formulate an escape plan. The trailer has me a little nervous, but Pixar's trailers are always disappointing. I'm sure it will be awesome and make $300,000,000.
The Social Network - October 15th
The Facebook movie. I should be rolling my eyes through the back of my skull right now, but I'm not. Here's why. The screenplay is written by Aaron Sorkin (West Wing), and it's being directed by David Fincher (Fight Club, Zodiac, Seven). It has Jesse Eisenberg (the Jewish Michael Cera), Justin Timberlake and Rashida Jones (Parks and Recreation). There's no trailer, there's no poster. Sorry. I have no idea what David Fincher is thinking getting involved in something so bubbly (although it's a foregone conclusion that someone will be murdered (or poked to death, lol)), but I can't wait to find out.
The Green Hornet - December 22nd
Again, no trailer or poster. I blogged about this movie a while ago, and while I haven't learned anything more about it in the months since, I am still incredibly excited to see what Michel Gondry does with a superhero film and a superhero budget. Seth Rogen lost a ton of weight to play the Green Hornet, and Christoph Waltz (Hans Landa from Inglorious Basterds) signed on to play another creepy villain, so everything's in it's right place.
Honorable Mentions:
Hot Tub Time Machine -2010's Hangover. Done deal.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - Michael Cera in a beloved comic book adaptation
The Last Airbender (for you SS)
*You're Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson for christ sakes! You've spent the past 5 years delicately modifying your name from The Rock to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, finally graduating to Dwayne Johnson and what's the first thing you do? You cash in and you are The Rock all over again. If I wanted to see a muscle-y man doing effeminate things, I'd watch The Pacifier with Vin Diesel.
** I swear, checking boxofficemojo.com today lists Dear John, Valentine's Day, and When In Rome ALL in the Top 10. What is it about European romance that makes otherwise sane women turn their purses upside down? Is it because it's near Valentine's Day and they want to live vicariously through Kristen Bell and Julia Roberts? Tell me what we men need to do to keep these movies from being made. I'll do it.
*** Seriously MPAA? I understand you wanting to shelter our young folks from growing up too fast, but you're barking up the wrong tree editing risque' movie titles. I guess this is to be expected since Kevin Smith's last movie (Zack and Miri Make A Porno) experienced similar censoring with their 'racy' poster.
****Actually this is Clooney's forte. He is the original cool cucumber. RDJ needs to get on his level.
***** Andy going to college??! I don't think so Pixar. I was 10 when Toy Story came out, and Andy was at LEAST 12, which would make him 27 in 2010. I'm sure Andy getting married or Andy filing for unemployment isn't nearly as enticing as a plot device, but shame on you. I'm going to pretend Andy's just dumb and he's a 27 year old freshman. That would also explain why he still plays with his toys.
For future reference:
ReplyDeleteActors of fully Jewish background: -Logan Lerman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman, Bar Refaeli, James Wolk, Julian Morris, Esti Ginzburg, Kat Dennings, Erin Heatherton, Odeya Rush, Anton Yelchin, Paul Rudd, Scott Mechlowicz, Lizzy Caplan, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Gal Gadot, Robert Kazinsky, Melanie Laurent, Marla Sokoloff, Shiri Appleby, Justin Bartha, Adam Brody, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Gabriel Macht, Halston Sage.
Actors with Jewish mothers and non-Jewish fathers -Jake Gyllenhaal, James Franco, Scarlett Johansson, Daniel Radcliffe, Alison Brie, Eva Green, Emmy Rossum, Jennifer Connelly, Eric Dane, Jeremy Jordan, Joel Kinnaman.
Actors with Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers, who themselves were either raised as Jews and/or identify as Jews: -Andrew Garfield, Ezra Miller, Alexa Davalos, Nat Wolff, James Maslow, Josh Bowman, Ben Foster, Nikki Reed, Zac Efron.
Actors with one Jewish-born parent and one parent who converted to Judaism -Dianna Agron, Sara Paxton (whose father converted, not her mother), Alicia Silverstone, Jamie-Lynn Sigler.