Thursday, January 14, 2010

Introducing the Sarcmark

See this little guy? This is the Sarcmark. In an era where communication is becoming increasingly dominated by texting, Facebooking, e-mailing and blogging, it is your only ally in the war against unintentional sincerity. The way it works is simple. You add it to the end of a sentence to simply and clearly denote that the preceding words were in jest. That's it. I've always been a fan of yelling 'SIKE!' or 'NOT!', but even those have malicious undertones and could result in even FURTHER miscommunication. Plus, neither is as cute as this little dude. Just look at it! Flirty with that coy eye, happy with that twisted vortex of a smile. Just precious. For only $1.99, you too can begin using the Sarcmark on your computer, your phone, even your email via a simple keystroke! Never again will you be forced to engage in the devastating 'are they serious' dance?

Consider this situation. You flirt with a girl via Facebook message (why you aren't simply speaking with her in person is beside the point), devoting hours and hours to distilling your wit to the perfect sentence. You send it off. She replies cordially, but ends her message with the ambiguous sentence "I wouldn't date you unless we were the last two people on earth". Now what does she mean by this? Without the Sarcmark there's really no telling. Could she is suggesting you try again after the Apocalypse? Maybe she simply wants some privacy for your date. Maybe she wants nothing to do with you whatsoever, but with such cryptic phrasing, no one can say for sure.

$1.99 is a small price to pay for this piece of mind. It's like getting into someones head and almost interacting with them in person (but not really because that's scary). It's like cracking a secret code! It is like having your own PR person! For someone who has their fair share of awkward human interactions, this piece of punctuation is a godsend. Now the only tricky part is to get everyone I know and will ever interact with to buy it too. I guess that's easier than getting a sense of humor.


  1. I think people need to be LESS explicit, not more. See you in hell, Mike [sarcmark]

  2. I knew someone who once said "I wouldnt date you if you were the last person on earth" - in person....