Is the Twilight 2 Soundtrack the First Horseman of the Hipster Apocalypse?

Hipsters have found themselves between a rock and a hard place in the weeks since the tracklisting for the new Twilight soundtrack appeared on the internet. A collective gasp erupted from most of Brooklyn and Pitchfork's headquarters when it became apparent that nearly all of their favorite artists are simultaneously selling out and offering NEW MATERIAL to the soundtrack for a teenage vampire blockbuster. If you don't believe me, the tracklisting is as follows:

01 Death Cab for Cutie: "Meet Me on the Equinox"
02 Band of Skulls: "Friends"
03 Thom Yorke: "Hearing Damage"
04 Lykke Li: "Possibility"
05 The Killers: "A White Demon Love Song"
06 Anya Marina: "Satellite Heart"
07 Muse: "I Belong to You (New Moon Remix)"
08 Bon Iver and St. Vincent: "Rosyln"
09 Black Rebel Motorcycle Club: "Done All Wrong"
10 Hurricane Bells: "Monsters"
11 Sea Wolf: "The Violet Hour"
12 OK Go: "Shooting the Moon"
13 Grizzly Bear: "Slow Life" [ft. Beach House's Victoria Legrand]
14 Editors: "No Sound But the Wind"
15 Alexandre Desplat: "New Moon (The Meadow)"


Marked in bold are artists whose work I enjoy. Some of the artists on this soundtrack are perfectly understandable. OK Go, go ahead and cash in, The Killers, fine, your new album sucked anyway. I can even understand Muse being hard up for money, but Thom Yorke!?!? Bon Iver!?!? @#$%ing Grizzly Bear?!?! Is it feasible that every indie band on Earth made a career suicide pact coinciding with Twilight 2? Maybe they all lost a bet and if things had gone differently we'd be seeing The Arcade Fire and Morrissey on the soundtrack instead. Whatever the case may be, something is awry in Hipsterland. 

Now that the rant is out of my system, I'll come clean. However incredulous I may sound, anything that squeezes new material out of these artists can't be all bad, right? RIGHT??? It's just that if I hear Thom Yorke singing while brooding teenage vampires hide from the sun, I'm probably going to lose my sense of right and wrong in the world.




I'm going to go lay in the fetal position and listen to Kid A. 






In the interest of full disclosure, I have not seen, read, or otherwise consumed any portion of the phenomenon that is Twilight.